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potteresque-ire · 4 years ago

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Concerning the incredibly far and deep reach of CCP’s propaganda, the narratives the government can spin and call the truth; does ‘the common normal populace’ actually know what’s really going on?

Hello everyone!!! Happy Chinese New Year!!

I’m grouping these asks because if I hear them correctly, they’re all related to this question: how much do people in China know about the atrocities committed by their government, and why don’t they do something about it?

It’s a difficult question, isn’t it? A potentially upsetting one too, just to think about. My answers are more opinion-based, more personal this time. Since there’re no polls about what people know, they have to be based a little more on my own impression, which has more chances of error. Please bear with me and proceed with caution ...

As with people in most countries, what people know is hugely dependent on individuals. Specifically, re: politics, I can think of at least three reasons why people don’t have the facts

1) they have limited access to information 2) they’re being lied to about what they know 3) they’re not interested in current affairs.

1), of course, is what most people think about when it comes to China. You’re right, Anon(s), that VPN use is indeed rampant in the country and is essentially an open secret; there’re no official numbers but surveys have estimated the number of users can be up to 100 million, most of them being youngsters. They use it to do exactly what most of us would imagine: gain access to things they don’t have otherwise. Instagram has been (sporadically?) blocked since 2014 September and so while users may have set up their accounts while being overseas, it’s indeed, (very) possible, that they’ve set up and maintained their account under VPN use.

Wait, you may ask, so you mean the Great Firewall of China doesn’t exist?

That’s exactly the official stance. Not because of private VPN use, but because individuals/companies can apply for a license via their telecommunications company to visit all internet sites. Hence, the government’s claim that the Great Firewall doesn’t exist—you’ll be let through as long as you ask (and we’ll watch your every step)! There are also no explicit laws prohibiting the use of private VPNs; only a handful of arrests associated with private VPN use have been made and only since 2019, and the punishment is considered light—no imprisonment, just fines. It is, in contrast, against the law to *provide* private VPN services, and while companies have been shut down, the crackdown has still been incredibly sluggish by Chinese government’s standards, especially when the Xi regime has made its intention of banning VPN known and directives have been issued for that in 2017.

Why has VPN continued to enjoy this “grey existence”? Because without VPN, a lot of foreign businesses would leave—some, for example, require the most efficient online tools developed outside China to track the foreign markets, and talents have rejected job offers in the country when they realised they couldn’t get on their favourite social media. The science and tech sectors also rely heavily on VPN—programmers relying on Google to search stackoverflow, for example, to find known solutions to bugs.

VPNs have also served political purposes—Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Chinese Communist Party (CCP)-critical communities all over the world are all painfully aware of the Chinese government’s practice of hiring its own collection of internet commentators (”50 Cent Party”), and at times, mobilising their youths (gamers, fan circles) to scale the Firewall and astroturf, throw insults at the “CCP enemies” and bomb message boards with pro-CCP messages.

Also, a significant fraction of VPN companies, both in China and overseas, have been reported to have Chinese ownership, by companies with government connections. These VPN services provide a false sense of security for those who do not enjoy having big brother peeking behind their backs while acting as surveillance tools that extend beyond the country.

(Please be careful about free VPNs).

The next question: If until now, users of private VPNs only rarely get into trouble, what’s holding them from scaling the Great Firewall and learning the facts?

It is this: the law isn’t about “climbing the wall”, but what one does outside the wall.

Article 6 of the 2016 edition of Cybersecurity law states the following:

第六条　国家倡导诚实守信、健康文明的网络行为，推动传播社会主义核心价值观，采取措施提高全社会的网络安全意识和水平，形成全社会共同参与促进网络安全的良好环境

Article 6: The State advocates sincere, honest, healthy and civilized network conduct; promoting dissemination of the core socialist values, adopting measures to raise the entire society's awareness and level of network security, and forming a good environment for the entire society to jointly participate in advancing network security.

What this article implies is this ~ legally, Chinese citizens are bound to the Chinese government’s rules of good internet conduct, regardless of whether they use VPN to get on the internet. As with many Chinese laws, however, the vagueness in wording invites more questions than answers. Is it getting on Twitter, a banned website, “sincere, honest, healthy and civilized network conduct”? Obviously, it’s illegal to interact with other users about the Xinjiang’s internment camps, but what if one only goes there to talk about their favourite stars, because on Weibo supertopic they can’t even mention the stars’ name, can’t ahkgkhagjkfaskjgdf about their favourite fics? What if one goes there to discuss a M- or E-rated fic? Where is the line drawn and given its vagueness, will that line move tomorrow? How?

Most people, therefore, have opted to simply stay away from VPN. After all, China offers its own version of many of the fun websites out there (Weibo-Twitter; Instagram-Oasis; Tiktok-Douyin; Youtube-Bilibili). For those who do use VPN, they tend to stick to websites that are unlikely to cause issues (such as Instagram; Instagram became an issue when Hong Kongers started to upload information about the protests on there).

Now, let’s proceed to 2): People don’t know the facts because they’re being lied to about what they know.

There’s a difference between having access to facts and knowing that they’re facts. This is among the most painful lessons, perhaps, for those who followed the politics of the United States in the last few years (please forgive me for the US-centric-ness of the following few paragraphs!). Even with equal access to identical information, people can vary a LOT in their understanding of what are facts and what are lies.

This illustrates the power of propaganda—and propaganda in the US isn’t even centralised. Some media outlets and individuals (political leaders and analysts) have more say on what should be viewed as the truth, but parties without significant power—small foreign and domestic interests, fringe political organisations, conspiracy theorists, regular folks—have also made critical contributions to the “fake news” phenomenon in the US. There haven’t been apparent coordinations between these parties; little concerted effort has been made to create one coherent story out of the many tales told.

In China, the propaganda effort is centralised, coordinated, free of distractions from competing story lines. The One Story the government decides on is repeated, over and over again, on newspapers, in shows, in textbooks, on signs on the streets, on social media. To put it another way, when it comes to political discourse, the country is designed to be an echo chamber with 1.4 billion people. Over time, the One Stories inevitably become firmly held beliefs—so firmly held that even if the people are exposed to facts, they no longer believe in them.

This is especially true when the source of the facts are countries with strong traditions of freedoms of speech and press, where the facts are often laid out with a critical eye to the administration and with vastly different opinions attached to them. While we view the latter as evidences that the values we embrace are alive and well—a critical eye to the administration means the Fourth Estate is doing its job, and the different opinions means freedom of speech gets to live another day—people who haven’t been exposed to these values tend to interpret these things as signs of weakness of the government. They may think the Chinese government is better than its counterparts elsewhere because no one is penning scathing criticisms against it. They may think the Chinese government is stronger because it unifies the opinions of their people—the failure of which, they’ve been taught, would lead to social chaos and economic free-fall.

The Chinese population has also been “immunised” against the truths that may be exposed about their government by a propaganda talking point used since Chairman Mao’s days—that the “Imperialist” western world, particularly the United States, is always scheming its downfall. The phrase often used is 美帝亡我之心不死 (”The heart (intention) of Imperialist US to bring us down will never die”). Unfavourable truths exposed must therefore be part of the “bring down China” scheme. This decades-old demonisation of the political apparatus of the US and Europe also prepares the people to accept what most would see as outrageous conspiracy theories: for example, in March 2020, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs claimed that the US Army intentionally planted COVID in Wuhan during the 2019 Military World games. “Foreign interference” becomes a frequent and convenient scapegoat for policy decisions gone wrong, sometimes to a (somewhat) hilarious effect ~ for example, a Taiwanese journalist calculated the cost required for the CIA to fund the 2019 Hong Kong Protests, as the Chinese government had claimed—and it turned out that the CIA was too poor to do it.

(Many of us in the US would probably laugh at the idea that our government is capable of secretly paying 2 million foreign-language speaking strangers to show up together in one march.) (It can’t even get the COVID relief payments to its own people right over a period of months.)

(Fun trivia for turtles! As 美帝=“Imperialist US” is the synonym of a feared, imaginary super-villain—super organised, super efficient, super everywhere and super impossible to take down—c-BJYX, the indestructible No. 1 CP fandom in China, has been nicknamed “美帝 cp” by those not so enamoured with it.)

Finally, there’s the psychological factor. Once a set of beliefs becomes personal truths, listening to alternatives can be very upsetting (for those in the US: imagine the blue voting block made to listen to Fox News). Hence, even when people gain access to the facts later—for example, when they study/work abroad, even emigrate—they often don’t take advantage of the access. Instead, they remain logged in in the Chinese social media sites where they’re comfortable with not only the politics but also the language and the friendships they’ve built, and continue to immerse themselves in an environment heavy with CCP propaganda. They remain defenders of the Chinese government; some have even gone out and harass people who disagree with it, in the name of freedom of speech that their country of origin never offered to them.

Censorship, of course, is an important component of building a One Story echo chamber, and I should add a note about it: censorship in China comes in vastly different strengths. The restrictions on LGBT+ issues, for example, are fairly lax, relatively speaking—“homosexuality” remains a term one can find on their internet and a topic the administration continues to address, and while BL dramas are censored, their adapted versions, along with highly publicised discussions of their original material, have so far been tolerated. The strictest form of Chinese censorship would’ve allowed neither: any mention of the 1989 June 4th Tiananmen Square massacre , for example, is immediately removed, including any hints that the event may have happened. When the former leader of the Chinese government, Jiang Zemin (江澤民), was rumoured to have passed away, the censorship apparatus went so far as to remove all mentions of Jiang, which also happened to mean “large rivers”. Chinese netizens therefore joked that major rivers had ceased to exist in China that day, as one couldn’t find any information about them online.

(LGBT+ activists have therefore remained optimistic about the future of their campaign, despite the current state of affairs. To put it simply: the Chinese government has bigger fish to fry. Sexual minorities haven’t had major clashes with the administration, haven’t embarrassed the Chinese government with their demand for rights as the ethnic minorities—the Uyghurs, the Tibetans, the Mongolians etc did. Political dissidents, including the millions in Hong Kong, are also (far) ahead in the ranking of fish size.)

For most issues, the censorship effort sits somewhere in the middle and is often inconsistent over time. The people, therefore, often have knowledge that an event has happened — even when the event is considered, beyond the Great Firewall, damaging to the reputation of the Chinese government. However, critical information is often missing in their knowledge, or is heavily distorted. For example, overseas Chinese citizens have insisted that the motivation of the 2019 Hong Kong Protests was economic, echoing the longstanding CCP propaganda that Hong Kongers have been jealous of China’s prosperity (reality: China’s GDP per capita was $10,268 USD in 2019, and Hong Kong’s, $48,713—more than 4 times higher). They missed out a critical fact: while the fast economic growth of China has created some unease—Hong Kongers have always known the Chinese government has only tolerated them and their freedoms for their ability to generate wealth—what has truly ignited Hong Kong’s anger is the Chinese government’s violation of the 1984 Sino-British Joint Declaration, and the terms it had agreed upon to get back the then British crown colony. Hong Kong hasn’t been demanding autonomy and freedoms because it’s a troublemaker, but because these things were promised to the city as conditions of the 1997 handover. As residents of the world’s third largest financial centre, Hong Kongers are diligent drafters and executioners of contracts (which international treaties are) and above all, faithful believers of them. For an asker (the Chinese government) to claim a contract as “historical” because it has received the goods (Hong Kong) and no longer feels a need to pay (allow Hong Kong 50 years of freedoms and autonomy) is offensive to the principle, the very heart and soul of the city.

(Gg’s former boss was a Hong Konger, and his experience working for him was a rather accurate reflection of Hong Kong’s view on business. What made an impression to Gg—that the posters should be without rips and misprints, even if these imperfections were not the fault of the design company—is a no-brainer to the Hong Konger in me reading the interview. Delivering high quality goods and services isn’t an act of kindness but rather, of professionalism and respect for the contract.)

(This interview is a highly recommended read, for those who’ve missed it!)

(One more example of “conveniently missed critical information”: remember GG’s show on Chongqing? Did you know the underground bombing shelters were not built by the Communist government, but the Nationalist government that was still ruling China during WWII?)

Anyway, where was I?

Right. We’re getting to 3): People are not getting the facts on the political situation in China because they’re not interested in current affairs.

Some—well, many— people are not interested in politics.

Some of you may be thinking: well, I’m not interested either. I follow politics because it’s important.

Why is it important? Because political engagement means you can do something about the many ills of the society, speak for those who cannot, force the government to change by voting, by voicing your opinion, by going to marches and protests etc.

What if you follow politics and still can’t do most of these things? What if, if you do choose to do these things, the price you pay may be astronomical? Will you still follow politics or devote your time, your energy to something else, something you’ve got more control over, something that won’t be as saddening, frustrating because it’s something you can actually change?

3) is therefore intricately related to why people often don’t do anything, even if they manage to find out about the facts.

There’re no national elections in China. Marches and protests are practically banned because while the Chinese Constitution guarantees the freedom of assembly (as it does freedom of speech and press; Article 35), it also explicitly states that "Citizens of the People’s Republic of China, in exercising their freedoms and rights, may not infringe upon the interests of the State, of society or of the collective, or upon the lawful freedoms and rights of other citizens.” (Article 51) — ie. the freedoms and rights only go as far as if they do not stand in the government’s way. Social media and all communications platforms are under constant surveillance, and so only opinions tolerated by the government is allowed...

And so, the fact, social ill that has broken your heart—you can’t tell for sure if it isn’t talked about because the government has censored it, how many people know about it and more importantly, how many among the people who know about it will agree with your take. If you break your silence and voice your concerns, how many people will have your back, even if you also conceive them as victims of the social ill? If the social ill is the lack of rights of a minority group, for example, will they appreciate your speaking out, or will your “rocking-the-boat” make things even worse for them? A heavily watched net means communications with the oppressed/vulnerable social groups are often filled with obstacles, if not outright impossible. You don’t know how these groups feel; you don’t even know how many affected individuals are there. You watch the and news and shows and they all talk about how wonderfully things are going; how everyone seems so hopeful and positive and happy with their lives—are you the only person feeling that way? Are you wrong? If you speak out then, will you be yelling into the void, or worse, yelling at the police who “invites” you for a chat in the police station? To speak for those who do not have a voice to speak, are you ready, willing to take the risk of also becoming one who no longer has a voice to speak? Is your family ready?

To put it another way: the opportunity cost of “doing something” about the political situation can be astronomically high in China, compared to the opportunity cost of us doing something similar in our own country.

If I want to support the LGBT+ population in my part of the US, for example, I can do so effectively with minimal investment and most importantly, with minimal risk. By pasting a rainbow flag on this Tumblr post, for example, I’ve already signalled to those who need support on this issue that I’m ready to give mine. And this “signal” of mine will join the hundreds and thousands on the site, collectively telling the activists doing the “on the ground” fighting that they’re not alone; that they have my vote of support. I pose no danger to myself in doing so; no one will accuse me of, arrest me for infringing upon the interests of the State and the Collective. The rainbow flag, a display of my stance, will not turn into a blurred blob the next time I look at it, transform overnight from a symbol of solidarity to a warning sign to those who may wish to join the cause. There’s no danger for me, even, to carry an actual, huge rainbow flag to Pride, perform my activism in person. I don’t have to worry about my phone already giving away my identity as a protester to the government, especially in post-COVID times. I don’t need to watch out for plain clothes pretending to be my allies. I don’t have to look at the many surveillance cameras present and wonder if I’ll get blacklisted as a troublemaker.

Am I still being tracked and taken pictures of? Possibly. But for this cause, at least, I’m not afraid that these information will be used to arrest me. If I were arrested, I know there'll be lawyers and activists who would come to my aid. LOUDLY. ANGRILY.

I’m not afraid. Period. I’m having fun. And I doubt I can say the same if I try to carry a rainbow flag to Tiananmen square and march there.

This vast difference in the opportunity cost of taking political action is the reason why I’ve refrained from demanding those who live under authoritarian dictatorships to stand up for their neighbours who’ve been oppressed / bullied by their governments. I’ve refrained from criticising them for looking away, minding their own business. Do I wish they’ve take action? Of course I do. Am I aware that their lack of action is potentially more harmful because of the frequent atrocities happening around them? Yes. But I also understand that going on a fight is far more frightening when one doesn’t even have a sense of how many will join their side of the fight; I understand that fighting for what one deserves—freedoms, rights, justice—should never equal martyrdom, and just because a regime has elected to put equal signs between the two doesn’t mean those equal signs should ever be there. I remind myself that, to ask the people in any authoritarian dictatorship to stand up for a political cause is to ask them to make sacrifices that we, as people in relatively free societies, do not need to make when standing up for the same cause. In a country where a father demanding the truth about the milk product poisoning of his own son got jail time for “eliciting social disorder”, to stand up for even a single issue, no matter how small that issue is, requires courage that I’m not sure I have.

I can’t ask anyone to do anything I may not be able to do myself.

And this is why I, too, have chosen to support these people, even if many of them are single-issue activists, even when many support the Chinese government on other issues that matter. For example, the late Dr Li Wenliang, one of the eight COVID whistleblowers in China who passed away from the disease, was an opponent of the Hong Kong Protest, but I still (greatly) appreciate, respect him for what he did. As long as they’re not actively helping the government to cause (more) harm to others, as long as their cooperation with their government falls within what is demanded of them as citizens, they have my support. Why? Because most people who speak out in China cannot afford to stand up for more than one cause before it becomes dangerous for them. Because even if it’s only a tiny vulnerable social group, one small minority that makes a tiny step towards more rights, more freedoms, more justice, it’s still a victory in a country where rights, freedoms and justice are luxury items for those with neither political nor economic power. Because those who’re not part of the ruling class cannot afford to cherry pick their allies, cannot afford to in-fight when the ruling class already holds absolute power. Because I still believe in pay-it-forward, that most people who’ve benefited from someone standing up for them, even for one small incident, one minor cause, is more likely to stand up for someone else.

This is, admittedly, not always an easy choice to make—not for me, at least. I do get frustrated, can’t help but think at times that those who subscribe to and spread propaganda are, to a certain extent, corroborators of the atrocities committed by their government. (So, to those who’ve felt this frustration, you’re not alone!). And the Hong Konger in me has every reason to be furious with everything about China right now—all I could think of, when I listened to Gg singing 異鄉人 Foreigner the other night, are all the Hong Kongers fleeing the city now, as refugees, because of their political beliefs.

But for now, I’m hanging on. I’ve been able to tell myself that given the country’s political reality, given its tradition of collectivism (which tends to view confrontational dissent with scorn), the paths to freedoms, to equal rights and acceptance, will not be the same as what I’ve seen, what I’ve wished for. They’ll likely be slow; They’ll likely be long and winding, taking three steps forward and two steps back; they’d likely be unexpected in places, offer us surprises —

And since it’s Chinese New Year / Valentines and I’m feeling brave (irresponsible?), I’d venture a little bit of speculation and say this ~ yes, I’ve wondered if one of these many paths may be trodden, intentionally or not, by two beautiful male idols and their millions of turtles. Is it wishful, fantastical thinking? I’d be the first to admit the answer is yes. But the BJYX scheme has been so well executed as of now, so effective that I can’t help but wonder if it’s leading towards some sort of a goal, whether devised by the humans involved or by the gods/Fates who, as c-turtles have said so romantically, have been writing an original BL story with our favourite boys. The goal may be personal —simply two people being able to act more like themselves again under the spotlight—or a bit more ambitious…

… Because the sneakers + ice-cream post did catch my attention (will probably have to devote a post on that?). Another small incident that has caught my attention, unrelated to Gg and Dd but can significantly change the path they may be trodding, is this — in June 2020, People’s Daily, the state controlled newspaper, boasted its country’s increasing friendliness towards the LGBT+ communities on Twitter . While the tweet was met with skepticism and soon removed, the message it sent is this: the Chinese government may have figured out the the Western world (in particular, the younger generations) view LGBT+ rights as a measure of progressiveness. While I’m still leaning towards the government maintaining a tight grip on LGBT+ rights within its borders, with the strengthening call to boycott 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics because of the country’s poor human rights record, I can see a glimmer of possibility that the same government may do the unexpected and cater to the queer community for the sake of propaganda. As I mentioned, the queer community hasn’t caused much headache for the Chinese government, and so it’s far more likely to be chosen as the “benefactors” of such a “we’re a human rights champion too!” propaganda campaign than, say, ethnic minorities and political dissidents. Promoting dissemination of core socialist values has always sat high on the CCP’s agenda list, and its target audience has always included foreign, non-Chinese populations; this effort is known as 大外宣—“The Great External Propaganda”. And who better to cast as leads of an international propaganda campaign on LGBT+ rights than two of its own stars who’ve already demonstrated loyalty to the government, who’ve already garnered international fame from a TV series widely viewed as queer, and who may actually be queer?

(And if—if!!!— this ever happens, may I ask everyone to please consider doing the following? Please do not feel a need to express gratitude. Please do not act as though it’s a gift. Celebrate as you would celebrate anyone in a free country exercising their birthright to live, to love the way they want — no less than that, no more than that.)

(For those who’ve asked ~ as international fans, not allowing the CCP to modify our expectations of how a government should behave may be one of the most effective ways to protect Gg and Dd.)

(I call this learning from the best: get the goods we want (more rights for the people in China), refuse to pay the cost (subscribe to CCP’s propaganda), and RUN! ❤️💛💚)

#pie metas #yizhan #bjyx #pie answers

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woman-loving · 3 years ago

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Islam, heteronormativity, and lesbian lives in Indonesia

Selections from Heteronormativity, Passionate Aesthetics and Symbolic Subversion in Asia by Saskia Wieringa, 2015.

These passages discuss some general social developments related to sexuality and gender in Indonesia, and then describe stories from different (mostly lesbian) narrators. They also touch on the creation of a religious school for waria (trans women), and include two trans men narrators, one of whom talks about his struggle to get sex reassignment surgery in the 70s. I also included a story from a divorced woman whose sexuality was questioned when her husband complained that she couldn’t sexually please him. Accusations of lesbianism can be directed toward any woman as a method for managing her sexuality/gender and prodding her into compliance with expectations of sexual availability.

In spite of protests by religious right-wing leaders, Islam does not have a single source of its so-called 'Islamic tradition'. There are many different interpretations and, apart from the Quran, many sources are contested. Even the Quran has abundant interpretations. Feminist Muslim writers, such as Fatima Mernissi (1985), Riffat Hassan (1987), and Musdah Mulia (2004 and 2012), locate their interpretations in the primary source of Islam--the Quran. According to those readings, sexuality is seen in an affirmative, positive light, being generally described as a sign of God's mercy and generosity toward humanity, characterised by such valued qualities as tranquillity, love, and beauty. The California-based Muslim scholar Amina Wadud (1999) describes the jalal (masculine) and jamal (feminine) attributes of Allah as a manifestation of sacred unity. She maintains that Allah's jamal qualities are associated with beauty that, although originally evaluated as being at the same level as Allah's masculine qualities that are associated with majesty, have en subsumed in the 14 centuries since the Quran was revealed.

The Quran gives rise to multiple interpretations. Verse 30:21 is one of my favorites:

“And among Allah's signs is this. That Allah created for you spouses from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity whit them, and Allah has put love and mercy between your [hearts]: verily in that there are signs for those who reflect.”[2]

The verse is commonly used in marriage celebrations, and I also used it in my same-sex marriage ritual. It mentions the gender-neutral term 'spouse,' which leaves room for the interpretation that same-sex partners are included.

Indonesian waria (transwomen) derive hope from such texts. In 2008, Maryani, a well-respected waria, opened a pesantren (traditional Islamic religious school) for waria, named Al-Fatah, at her house in Yogyakarta. After her death in March 2014, it was temporarily closed, but fortunately soon reopened in nearby Kotagede. A sexual-rights activist, Shinta Ratri, opened her house to waria santri (santri are strict believers, linked to religious schools) so they could continue to receive religious education. At the official opening, Muslim scholar Abdul Muhaimin of the Faithful People Brotherhood Forum reminded the audience that, as everyone was made by God: "Everyone has the right to observe their religion in their own way...", and added: "I hoped the students here are strong, as they must face stigma in society."[3]

Prior to her death (after she had made the haj),[4] Maryani herself, a deeply-religious person, said: "Here we teach our friends to worship God. People who worship are seeking paradise, this is not limited to our sex or our clothing..."[5] So far, hers is the only waria pesantren in Indonesia, perhaps even globally, and may be due to the fact that Maryani was an exceptionally strong person who spoke at many human-rights meetings. In October 2010, I also interviewed her and was struck by her warm personality, courage, and clear views.

In spite of those progressive readings of the Quran, women's sexuality is interpreted in light of their servility to men in practice, and has been linked to men's honour rather than women's pleasure. Although marriage is not viewed as too sacred to be broken in Indonesia, it is regarded as a religious obligation by all. An unmarried woman over the age of 20 is considered to be a perawan tua ('old virgin'), and is confronted by a continuous barrage of questions as to when she will marry.

Muslim (and Christian) conservative leaders consider homosexuality to be a sin. Women in same-sex relations find themselves in a difficult corner, as exclusion from their religion is a heavy burden. Some simply pray at home, privately hoping that their God will forgive them and trusting in the compassion taught by their holy books. However, outside their private space, religious teachers and society at large denounce their lives as sinful and accuse them of having no religion.

Recent Indonesia legislation strengthens the conservative, heteronormative interpretations of Islam. Apart from the 2008 anti-pornography law (discussed below), a new health law was adopted that further tightened conservative Islam's grip on women's reproductive rights and marginalised non-heteronormative women. That 2009 health bill replaced the law of 1992, which had no chapter on reproductive health. The new law states that a healthy, reproductive, and sexual life may only be enjoyed with a 'lawful partner' and only without 'violating religious values'--which means that all of our narrators would be banned from enjoying healthy, sexual, and reproductive lives.[6]

Conservative statements are also made by women themselves; for example, members of the hard-line Islamic group Hizbut Tahrir, who not only want to restrict reproductive services (such as family planning) to lawfully-wedded heterosexual couples but also see population control as a 'weapon of the West' to weaken the country.[7] They propose to save Indonesia by the imposition of sharia laws. Hard-line Islamic interpretations are widely propagated and creep into the legal system, thus strengthening heteronormativity and further expelling non-normative others.

Yet strong feminist voices are also heard in Indonesia's Muslim circles. Even in a relation to one of the most controversial issues in Islam--homosexuality--a positive, feminist interpretation is possible. Indonesia's prominent feminist Muslim scholar, Siti Musdah Mulia, explains that homosexuality is a natural phenomenon as it was created by Allah, and thus allowed by Islam. The prohibition, however, is the work of fallible interpretations by religion scholars.[8] In her 2011 paper on sexual rights, Mulia bases herself on certain Indonesian traditions that honour transgender people, referring to bissu in south Sulawesi, and warok[9] in the reog dance form in Ponorogo. In those cases, transgender is linked to sacred powers and fertility. She stresses that the story of Lot, always cited as evidence of Quranic condemnation of homosexuality, is actually concerned with sexual violence--the people of Sodom were not the only ones faced with God's wrath, as the people of Gomorrah were also severely chastised even though there is no indication that they engaged in same-sex behaviour. Nor is there any hint of same-sex behaviour in relationship to Lot's poor wife, who was transformed into a pillar of salt. Mulia advances a humanistic interpretation of the Quran that stresses the principles of justice, equity, human dignity, love, and compassion (2011: 7). Her conclusion is that not Islam itself but rather its heterosexist and patriarchal interpretation leads to discrimination.

After the political liberalisation (Reformasi) of 1998, conservative religious groups (which had been banned at the height of the repressive New-Order regime) increased their influence. The dakwah ('spreading of Islam') movement, which grew from small Islamist usroh (cell, family) groups and aimed to turn Indonesia into a Muslim state, gathered momentum.[10] Islamist parties, such as the Partai Kesejahteraan Sosial (PKS), or Social Justice Party, gained wide popularity, although that was not translated into a large number of seats in the national parliament (Hefner 2012; Katjasungkana 2012). In the early Reformasi years, official discourse on women was based on women's rights, taking the 1995 Beijing Platform for Action as its guide, but recent discourse on an Islamic-family model--the so-called keluarga sakinah ('the happy family')--has become dominant in government circles (Wieringa 2015, forthcoming). The growing Islamist emphasis on a heteronormative family model, coupled with homophobia, is spreading in society. During KAN's [Kartini Asia Network for Gender and Women's Studies in Asia] September 2006 TOT [Training of Trainers] course in Jakarta, the following conversation was recorded:

“Farida: Religious teachers go on and on about homosexuality. They keep shouting that it is a very grave sin and that people will go straight to hell. My daughter is in the fifth form of primary school. She has a best friend and the two were inseparable. But the teachers managed to set them apart, as they were considered to be too close. The mother of my daughter's friend came to me crying; she was warned that she had to be careful with her child, or else she might get a daughter who was different. And now the new school regulations stress that a woman must wear the jilbab [headscarf].[11] This has put a lot of stress on tomboyish girls. They cannot wear the clothes they are comfortable with any more. Zeinab: When we were taught fiqih [Islamic law], we never discussed homosexuality. When we studied the issue of zinah [adultery], one of our group asked: "But how about a woman committing zinah with another woman, or a man with another man?" Our teacher just shook is head and muttered that that was not a good thing. The only story we learnt was about the prophet Luth [Lot]. But when we went to study the hadith [Islamic oral law], we found the prophet had a very close friend, Abu Harairah, who never married, while all men were always showing off their wives. There were some indications that he might have had a male lover. Yet the prophet is not known to have warned him. So, while the mainstream interpretation of Islam is that they condemn homosexuality, there are also other traditions that seem to be more tolerant, even from the life of the prophet himself.”

The above fragment shows how fundamentalist practices creep into every nook and cranny of Indonesian people's lives--the growing suspicion toward tomboys, forcible separation of close school friends, and enforcement of Muslim dress codes. But we also see a counter-protest arising. At the TOT training course, the women activists realised that patriarchal interpretations of religion had severely undermined women's space, and started looking for alternative interpretations, such as the story of the prophet's unmarried friend.

However, for many of our narrators, religion is a troubling issue. Putri, for instance, does not even want to discuss the rights of gays and lesbians in Indonesia; she thinks the future looks gloomy, with religious fundamentalism on the rise, and her dream of equal rights is buried by the increasing militancy of religious fanatics. [...]

Women-loving women

Religion is a sensitive aspect of the lives of our women-loving-women narrators, who are from world religions that, although propagating love and compassion in their distinct ways, interpret same-sex love negatively. In some cases, our narrators are able to look beyond the patriarchal interpretations of their religions, which preach hatred for what are emotions of great beauty and satisfaction to them, while others are devastated by guilt and shame. [...]

Indonesian male-identified Lee wonders why "people cannot see us as God's creatures?" but fears that Islam will never accept homosexuality. He knows the story of the prophet Lot, and how the city of Sodom was destroyed by God as a warning so others would not commit the sin of sodomy. Lee was raised as a good Muslim, and tries to follow what he has been taught are God's orders. For some time, he wore a man's outfit for praying.[16] At that time, he thought that religious duties--if conducted sincerely--were more important than his appearance but, after listening to some religious preachers, he felt that it was not right to wear men's clothing: "Sometimes I think it is not right, lying to myself, pretending to be someone else. We cannot lie to God, right? Even if I try to hide it, definitely God knows." So, after attending religious classes, he decided to wear the woman's outfit--the mukena--when praying at home.

Lia grew up in a strict Muslim family. When she pronounced herself to be a lesbian, it came as a shock to her relatives, who invoked the power of religion to cure her. When her mother went on the haj, she brought 'Zamzam water' from Mecca. The miraculous healing powers of the liquid from Mecca's Zamzam well were supposed to bring Lia back to the normal path. Dutifully, Lia drank from it and jokingly exclaimed: "Ah, my God, only now I realise how handsome Delon is!"[17] Yet she found succor in her religion when she went through a crisis in her relationship with Santi:

"When Santi hated me very much and avoided me, I prayed: "God, if it is true that you give me a guiding light, please give me a sign. But if it is a sin...please help me..." Was my relationship with Santi blessed or not? If it wasn't, surely God would have blocked the way, and if it way, would God broaden my path? As, after praying so hard, Santi and I became closer, God must have endorsed it. Does God listen to my prayer, or does God test me?"

So, even though she got together again with Santi after that fervent bout of praying, uncertainty gnaws at Lia, who realises that mainstream Islamic preachers prohibit homosexuality. Ideally, she feels that a person's religion must support people, but Islam does not do that because she is made to feel like a sinner. But, she says, the basic principle that Islam teaches is to love others. As long as she does that, Lia sees nothing wrong in herself as one of God's creatures. She realises that, particularly in the interpretation of the hadith (Islamic oral tradition), all manner of distortions have entered Islamic values, and wonders what was originally taught about homosexuality in Islam. She is aware that many Quranic texts about the status of women were manipulated in order to marginalise them, and avidly follows debates on feminist interpretations that stress that the real message of the Quran does not preach women's subordination.

Lia knows that there are lesbians in the pesantren who carry out religious obligations, such as praying and doing good deeds. If someone has been a lesbian for so long that it feels like natural character, and has been praying and fasting for many years, they cannot change into a heterosexual, she decided.

Religious values are also deeply inculcated in Sandy, who is tortured by guilt and shame about her lesbian desires. Although masculine in appearance and behaviour, she wears the mukena while praying both at home and at the mushola (small mosque) that she frequents. Since she was 23, when her mother died, she realised that what she did with her lover, Mira, was a sin and started reading religious books to discover what they said about people like her. She accepted the traditional interpretation of the story of Lot and the destruction of Sodom. When she was 25 years old, Mira left her to marry a man. Sandy was broken hearted and considered suicide. In that period of great distress, she realised that God prohibits suicide and just wanted her to give up her sinful life. She struggled hard against her desires for women and the masculinity in her:

"If I walk with women, I feel like a man; that I have to protect them. I feel that I am stronger than other women. But I also feel that I am a woman, I am sure that I am a woman, that is why I feel that I am different from others. I accept my own condition as an illness, not as my destiny. ... Yes, an illness, because we follow our lust. It we try to contain our lust, as religion teaches us, we would never be like this. So I try to stay close to God. I do my prayers, and a lot of zikir.[18] I even try to do tahajjud.[19]"

Sandy believes in the hereafter and does not want to spoil her chances of eternal bliss by engaging in something so clearly disproved of by religion, although she has not found any clear prohibitions against lesbianism in either the Quran or hadith.

Bhima, who considers himself to be a secular person, was brought up in a Muslim family. His identity card states that he is a Muslim, which got him into serious trouble when he went for his first sex-change operation at the end of the 1970s. He went through the necessary tests but the doctors hesitated when they looked at his ID, fearing the wrath of conservative clerics. Bhima was desperate:

"Listen, I have come this far! I have saved up for this, sold my car, relatives have contributed, how can you do this to me? Tell me what other religion I should take up and I will immediately get my identity card changed. I have never even been inside a mosque. I don't care about any institutionalised religion!"

The doctors did not heed his plea, instead advising him to get a letter of recommendation from a noted Muslim scholar. Undaunted, Bhima made an appointment with a progressive female psychologist who had been trained in Egypt and often gave liberal advice on Muslim issues on the radio. He managed to persuade her to write a letter of introduction to the well-known Muslim scholar Professor Hamka. Letter in hand, Bhima presented himself at the gate of Hamka's house, and was let in by the great scholar himself. Bhima pleaded his case, upon which Hamka opened the Quran and pointed to a passage that read "when you are ill, you must make all attempts to heal yourself":

"Are you ill?" Hamka asked. Bhima nodded vehemently. "Fine, so then tell them that the Quran advises to heal your illness." "It is better, sir," Bhima suggested, "that you write that down for them."

With that letter, Bhima had no problem to be accepted for the first operation, in which his breasts were removed.

Widows [...] In Eliana's case religion played an important role in her marriage--and subsequent divorce. While still at school, she had joined an usroh group (created to teach students about religious and social issues in the days of the Suharto dictatorship). Proper sexual behaviour played an important role in their teachings. According to usroh, a wife must be sexually subservient to her husband and accept all his wishes, even if they involve him taking a second wife. Eliana felt close to her spiritual leader and tried to sexually behave as a good Muslim wife would. She forced herself to give in to all her husband's sexual wishes, including blow jobs and watching pornography with him. Yet the leader blamed Eliana for not doing enough to please her husband, saying that is why he needed a second wife. Her teacher even asked if she was a lesbian, because she could not satisfy her husband. As both her spiritual leader and husband agreed that it was not nice for a man to have an intellectually-superior woman, she played down her intelligence. Eventually she divorced her husband.

Internalised lesbophobia and conservative-religious (in this case, Muslim) norms prevented Jenar for enjoying the short lesbian relationship that she had between her two marriages. It is interesting how she phrases the conversation, starting on the topic by emphasising how much she distrusted men after her divorce (because her husband did not financially provide for their family). The relationship with her woman lover was not long underway, and had not advanced beyond kissing, but she immediately felt that, according to religion, what she did was laknat (cursed). Anyway, she added, she was a 'normal,' heterosexual woman and did not feel much aroused when they were touching. A middle-aged, male friend added to her feeling of discomfort by emphasising that she would be cursed by God if it would continue. He then took her to a dukun (shaman), where she was bathed with flowers at midnight in order to cure her. That was apparently successful, for she gave the relationship up. However, even though she had stressed that she was 'normal' and did not respond sexually to her lover's advances, she ended the conversation by saying that she felt lesbianism was a 'contagious disease'. That remark stresses her own internalised homophobia but also emphasises her helplessness and lack of agency--contagion is something that cannot be avoided. It also hints at the strength of the pull she felt for a contagion that apparently could not be easily ignored. The important role of the dukun indicates that she follows the syncretist stream of Islam, mixed with elements of the pre-Islamic Javanese religion--Kejawen. [...]

Women in same-sex relationships [...]

As in India, the human-women's-lesbian-rights discourse is gaining momentum in Indonesia. It could only develop after 1998, when the country's dictator was finally forced to resign and a new climate of political openness was created. The new sexual-rights organisations not only opened a public space to discuss women's and sexual rights but also impacted on the behaviour of individuals within their organisations (as discussed in more detail in chapter 9). Before Lee joined a lesbian-rights group, he had decided to undergo sex-reassignment therapy (SRT) to physically become a man as much as possible. Activists warned him of the operations' health risks and asked whether he really needed such a change in order to live with his spouse. Lee feels secure within the group, and is happy to find like-minded people with whom he can share many of his concerns. Lee actively sought them out after reading a newspaper article about a gay male activist: he tracked him down at his workplace and obtained the address of the lesbian group. Lee is less afraid of what will happen when their neighborhood find out that Lee's body is female--as he says: "I have done nothing wrong, I haven't disturbed anyone, I have never asked anyone for food." However, Lee is worried about the media, where gay men and lesbian women are often represented as the sources of disease and disaster.

Lia had no idea what a lesbian was when she first fell in love with a woman. There were many tomboys like her playing in the school's softball team, and she once spotted a female couple in another school's softball team. Her relationship with Santi developed without, as Lia says, any guidance of previous information. Only at college in Yogyakarta did she start reading about homosexuality on the internet. Through the Suara Srikandi portal (one of the first lesbian groups in Jakarta), she came to know of other Indonesian lesbians. Another website that she frequently visited was the Indonesian Lesbian Forum, and one of her lecturers introduced her to the gay and lesbian movement in her city. In 2004, she publicly came out at a press conference. She first joined the KPI, which has an interest group of sexual minorities, but found the attitude of her feminist friends to be unsupportive and decided to join a lesbian-only group. The women activists only wanted to discuss the public role of women and domestic violence, and told her that lesbianism was a disease and a sin.

Lia wants to broaden the lesbian movement. She feels the movement is good in theory but lacking in practice--particularly in creating alliances with other suppressed groups, such as farmers and labourers. In focusing only on lesbians, not on discrimination and marginalisation itself, she asserts that it has become too exclusive. By socialising with other movements, she argues, they will better understand lesbian issues, and, in turn, that will help the lesbian movement. It is true, she concedes, that lesbians are stigmatised by all groups in society but, since 1998 (the fall of General Suharto), the country has seen a process of democratisation. "We must take up that opportunity and not be scared of stigma," she exhorts her friends in the lesbian movement. Lia herself joined a small, radical political party, the PRD,[33] and faced stigma ("we have a lesbian comrade; that's a sin, isn't it?"), but feels that she has ultimately been welcomed. Now, her major problem is to find the finances to conduct her activism. At the time of the interview, she had lost her job and could not find the means to print handouts for her PRD comrades.

Lia is a brave forerunner. At the time of the interview, her lesbian friends were too scared to follow in her footsteps and told her that she was only dreaming. However, her heterosexual friends (in the labour movement) said that they were bored with her, and found her insistence of a connection between the struggle for sexual and labour rights to be too pushy.

Lia dreams of equal rights for lesbians. First, she would like to see a gay-marriage law implemented in Indonesia, which would ensure that the property rights of surviving spouses are protected in case one passes away. She also would like to set up a shelter for lesbians, as she knows many young lesbians who have been thrown out of their family homes and are in need of support.

Sandy is rather hesitant about the rights she would like to see introduced to Indonesian society. Most of all, she wants to be accepted as a normal human being, where no one says bad things about or harasses lesbians like her. What women do in the privacy of their bedrooms is one thing. Women should have the right to have sex, for it comes straight from the heart--it is pure love. But, in public, their behavior should be impeccable: no kissing, no hugging, no holding of hands. However, Sandy thinks that marriage rights for lesbians will not happen in Indonesia, and are only possible in Christian countries. But, minimally, she hopes to lead a life without discrimination or violence:

"If they see us as normal, they won't bother us. We are human, but if we act provocatively then it is ok for them to even hang us ... [I just hope they] won't harass us, or humiliate us. That is all I ask, that if we are being humiliated there is a law to prevent it. That a person like me is protected. To be laughed at is okay, but it is too much if they throw stones at us and if we are not allowed to work."

Sex workers want the right to work without being harassed, and women in same-sex relationships want to be treated like 'normal' human beings and enjoy socio-sexual rights, such as health benefits or the right to buy joint property. Yet the state does not provide those rights and does not protect its citizens in equal measure. As a major agent of heteronormativity, it restricts its benefits and protection to those within its margins. Couples with social stigma and conservative-religious interpretations, some of our narrators have reached deep levels of depression.

#lgbtq #indonesia #trans men #trans women #waria #islam #saskia wieringa #lesbians #women loving women #wlw

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justonecitizenoftheearth · 4 years ago

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Why the ending of Supernatural is problematic - the meaning of storytelling

Originally, I wanted to write a full essay on this and I still might, but since the university libraries are closed and I have three other big writing projects at hand, one of which is my final thesis, this might take a while. I still want to share my thoughts about this. A lot of this has been said before, but not yet by everyone. Trigger warning for mentions of suicide and homophobia.

The thing that bugs me most about the whole discussion about the ending of Supernatural is people saying “why do you care so much? It´s just a story.” Storytelling has been a part of human culture for thousands of years, it is something that everyone does and to think that telling stories doesn´t have a function in society that goes beyond entertainment is just plain wrong. Every part of storytelling, be it the actions shown, the words used, the characters involved or the connotations connected with any of the above, have the power to influence the way that the recipients of the story perceive reality. Now let that sink in for a moment.

To borrow some words from a text about gendered narration: “Narration is understood as a cultural practice that spans genres and media and it is of great significance for gender constructions and gender relations, because stories don´t simply reflect on the perception or imagination of ´gender´, but they create them. From this perspective, storytelling seems to be one of the performative acts that produce and establish identities and gender constructs in the first place.” (Nünning/Nünning (2006): Making gendered selves; translated from german). The important thing to take from this quote is the last bit: Storytelling is an act that produces and establishes identities. And from here, we jump directly into the ending of Supernatural.

I don´t think I have to explain a lot about what happens in the last two episodes of Supernatural. But I want to go into the potential impact. So, in the ending of episode 15x18, we see a male presenting character, Castiel, declare his love to another male presenting character, Dean Winchester. It is made very clear, both by the actual show and the comments of Misha Collins, who plays Castiel, right afterwards, that this is in fact meant to be romantic. Right after that scene, Castiel dies. He not only dies by coincidence, but confessing his love is the thing that makes him happy and therefore, because of a deal he made with the empty, is the thing that kills him. It is not explicitly said if Dean loves him back. In the next episode, this confession is never mentioned, but Dean shows some signs of wanting Castiel back desperately (begging Chuck to bring him back, running up the stairs because he thinks that Cas will be there), but these signs just stop at some point during the episode. In the series finale, Castiel is mentioned twice, but not once by Dean and always in a fleeting manner. It never becomes clear if Dean loves him back and life apparently just went on without him. Not to mention that death has never been a permanent or undefeatable state in the show. But Castiel never comes back, his feelings are never mentioned and neither are Dean´s, although it has been clear in previous seasons that he usually takes it very, very hard to lose Castiel, to a point where he becomes reckless and suicidal (see early season 13).

There are a few things to address here, but the main thing for me is that it seems like Castiel loses his status as a friend who will be dearly missed as soon as he comes out as in love with Dean Winchester, which is perceived by the audience as being gay (angelic gender discourse aside). And this is a bad message. It´s a really bad message both for people who struggle with their sexuality and see all their fears come true, and for people who have prejudices about LGBTQI+ people and get the message that they are less valuable as human beings. Which is not true, but again: Storytelling is an act that produces and establishes identities. The death of Castiel was only one of the problematic messages. Dean Winchester, who has been coded and perceived as bisexual and who has been a beacon of light for many who struggle with mental illnesses, dies too. Worse, he basically chooses death, which completely destroys the hopeful message of never giving up. Eileen Leahy, a deaf character who represents a group of people who are seldomly represented in media in a positive and empowering way, disappeares from the narrative, too, without an explanation and takes that empowerment with her. There are more examples, but the general idea is clear.

And this is, for me, the main problem with the Supernatural finale. The ending of Supernatural helps to establish hurtful tropes and assumptions. It transports messages that can be very harmful both for people who identify with those characters and see their own very real and important hopes and dreams fall to pieces, and for people who could use to see good representation of diverse characters to question their own values and opinions.

I hear you asking: “Okay, so bad media representation is bad in an abstract, cultural context. But how big can the impact of such media representation actually be for individual people? And how do you prove that?” So let me ask back: “Have you ever heard of the Werther effect?”

In 1774, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe published the novel “The sorrows of Young Werther”. In this book the main character kills himself after being rejected by the woman he´s in love with. After the novel had been published, a number of young men committed suicide, following the example of the book character Werther. This is not the only case where the depiction of the suicide of a character inspired people who strongly identify themselves with the character commit suicide: “There have been other such “epidemics” [meaning suicides in imitation], such as the rash of suicides in young Jewish females after the publication of Otto Weininger´s Sex and Character in 1903. However, an earlier recorded epidemic occurred in the early 1700s in Japan.” (Krysinka/Lester (2006): Comment on the Werther effect. S.100).

Long story short, it is a known phenomenon that media has a huge influence on the lives of recipients, especially if they can identify strongly with the characters, all the way to existential decisions like suicide. And in the case of Supernatural, that´s an extraordinarily relevant question.

The character Dean Winchester has battled depression, trauma and suicidal thoughts and tendencies in his journey. Many people who battled the same issues could identify themselves with this character, which is a known fact in the fandom and has been said multiple times on conventions and on social media. Showing that this character accepts death, even though it is questionable if that was necessary, and implying that the only way that he can find peace is by dying is highly problematic. Combined with the number of people who identify as LGBTQI+ and who have a strong connection to the character Dean Winchester, and considering the high suicide rate among LGBTQ+ individuals, death as the conclusion of his character arc is a dangerous message.

To summarize my point, storytelling is an insanely powerful instrument to shape the collective social memory of a culture and it has direct influence on how we perceive the world and other humans. Bad media representation causes real life issues and can be very harmful, both on a personal level and in society, for those who are affected. It lets hypocrites, homophobes and racists stay in their bubble of righteousness and fails to call them out on their bullshit. It is a lethal threat to some. Bad media representation and thoughtless storytelling is dangerous. And this is why I care so much. Because it´s not just about a story.

So, that´s it for now. I would love to hear your thoughts about it!

And I send love to all of my mutuals, everyone who loves Supernatural and hates the finale because of it, all of my rainbow siblings and everyone who needs it! <3

#the15yearshow #destiel #eileen leahy #media representation #spn season 15 #spn finale #literature textpost #the importance of representation #the sorrows of young werther #meta post #I guess #narratology #storytelling #literature student #supernatural

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thegrandkinghimself · 4 years ago

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who is oikawa tooru?

i guess that’s a weird way to start off a post, considering just how popular oikawa is in this fandom. i’m absolutely certain that he’s still one of the most popular characters if i can take the #oikawasear trend on twitter a couple of weeks ago seriously. (i will be mourning that iwaoi is no longer the top ship in this fandom. it’s devastating to me on a personal level). and i can’t say that i’m any different, either, otherwise i wouldn’t have made this blog or this post. but i guess the reason i’ve been itching to write this is because i’ve been in this fandom--and more specifically, a fan of oikawa--for about four or five years now. i devour the content available, and i can assure you that i’ve read too many of the fanfictions on ao3 to be healthy, and never before have i seen a character whose characterization is so hotly disputed.

and i get it. he’s a complex person. he’s kind of awkward in that there is a very clear disconnect between his outward personality and who he is alone. it’s a very hard balance to strike, especially when you consider just how much conjecture goes on in his characterization among fans and in discourse. he’s really easy to project and certain traits, correct or otherwise, are amplified based off how authors perceive him. there’s plenty of presumptions that can be made based on his on-screen actions/thoughts/beliefs that can be taken to some very logical conclusions.

but i’ve also seen people write him in ways that don’t strike me as particularly truthful. he’s type casted into stereotypes that don’t do him justice, or made into something that is vaguely like oikawa, but not quite. in the following post, i’ll be trying to dispel misunderstandings of his character, if only for my own sanity.

tl;dr i think that oikawa is chronically one of the most misrepresented characters in fandom and i want to fix that

exclaimer: i am solely an anime-watcher; i have seen snippets of the manga and therefore have a general idea of what is going on.

let’s establish some very very basic stuff. just to keep it simple, i’m not going to talk about anything beyond what has been published via the anime (as of season four).

Oikawa Tooru | 及川徹

gender: male

d.o.b.: 1994.7.20. or 20 July, 1994

height: 184.3 cm

weight: 72.2 kg

occupation: high school 3rd year, class 6

position/number: setter, 1 (captain)

here’s something that’s never pointed out: oikawa is in class 6 which, if we go off the trend of every other school in haikyuu!!, means that he is in a college preparatory class aka he’s pretty dang smart. it’s not confirmed or anything, but it a. follows the trend of every other class 6 student and b. is the highest class available among seijoh 3rd years (classes 5, 3, and 1). don’t get the idea that he’s dumb or unintelligent, or even that his strengths only lie in the classroom because that would be a gross understatement of his skills.

anywho.

generally speaking, i like to start with the building blocks of his personality because there’s so much room for assumptions. here are the things that i think make up his core personality:

intelligence/knowledgeable: not only academically speaking, but he’s also well-versed in people. he knows how to play them--what will make someone more confident, more doubtful, what will help his teammates succeed. clearly, oikawa is very knowledgeable in human thought patterns. or he’s dedicated a lot of time to knowing them.

loyalty: of all of oikawa’s traits, i think this one gets talked about the least, but we know it to be true. we make jokes about “you should have come to shiratorizawa” but it really shows you exactly how loyal, how much trust, oikawa has in this team that he has spent three years shaping. he never stops believing in the work that he has put in, and especially the hard work that his teammates have put into their volleyball.

hardworking: one of the most well-known things about oikawa. most fans already know that his white knee pad is actually a knee brace. ‘nuff said. i salute you, good sir.

insecurity: oikawa’s insecurities are perhaps his most notable trait. in a sense, he’s sort of the underdog--so good, but never quite good enough to accomplish what he’s set out to do. and we know that he’s struggled with his doubts since junior high, literally since he was 12 or 13, and that’s informed all of his character from the moment he ran into ushijima. oikawa is someone who is defined by his insecurities.

oikawa is a lot of things. he’s introduced as someone who is very flamboyant--he’s built up by kageyama as the best setter, his senpai literally and figuratively, his initial shots are all of smug smiles and easy, unfaltering swagger in the face of this new team. even his theme, all rambunctious brass and jazzy, is meant to be all in your face, here’s the big boss! he’s someone who is petty and silly and seems to favor shallow conversation. but he’s oikawa, so there’s a surprising amount of depth in the little time that we have with him. there’s a reason that, in any other franchise, he’d probably be the protagonist.

he is someone full of contradictions. he’s childish and he spends time with a bunch of girls and is very clearly someone who likes to project a certain image of himself to the public (see: his cute lil’ humming run after his yell in s4e23 to make him seem kind of normal). but he’s also spent a lot of time with himself. in fact, if we take the few scenes we have of him alone and his bedroom (bare, spartan, meticulous) into account, oikawa actually is much more solemn and/or serious than the image he projects. he’s comfortable in the silences between all the white noise. he’s alright just being with iwaizumi. he allows himself to dwell on the past and his shortcomings, while also looking forward to the future. his ambition and passion to improve drive him, but his past failures weigh him down. they haunt him.

personally, i think that he’s naturally a pretty silly guy when given the chance. it’s not just for show. iwaizumi would even corroborate this à la oikawa’s introduction speech in s1. he likes having fun when he can with his friends. if we assume that oikawa is most himself with iwaizumi, then we definitely know that’s the case (see: “are you my mom, iwa-chan?”), and there’s nothing wrong with that. but i think that the most basic traits of his character, combined with his experiences in volleyball, have pushed him to be this person who is mired in doubt. it’s forced him to go down a path where something that he once loved for the fun of it has now become the source of his ire. it’s really just that simple. maybe in another life, things would be different and oikawa wouldn’t have to struggle as much. but that’s really just a part of the human experience, isn’t it? and, in all honesty, would we really love oikawa as much without all his vices?

and maybe this is getting into speculation, but i don’t think it’s a difficult argument to make that oikawa is really mature. he’s introspective. i say introspective because the revelations that he’s had in regards to his own strengths and weaknesses--those are things he’s had to confront and deal with since he was in junior high (starts at 12 years of age). it takes someone with a lot of maturity and self-awareness to realize those kinds of things about himself.

and he’s stronger than he gets credit for. most people depict him as a crybaby, but he’s really not. he doesn’t cry or give up in the face of ushijima or kageyama’s unfettered growth and successes, he doesn’t cry when faced with defeat. oikawa is there to support iwaizumi in his own doubt as ace, and lend support to his teammates. and oikawa doesn’t get stuck on the what-ifs or has-beens. driven by his infamous ambition, he looks forward to the future.

it’s kind of a double-edged sword. it’s pushed him this far--he’s put in this much effort to be one of the best in the prefecture--because of his competitive spirit, but it’s also something that has caused him serious injury. oikawa’s motto (”if you’re gonna to hit it, hit it until it breaks!”) is the very epitome of this mentality. it’s a message to work hard to finish what you started, but i also think that you could interpret that hard work breaking you, too. he’s steadfast—obsessive, really—to the point that oikawa will let his passions break him before he would ever give up. it’s the point of all the strife in his life, because he would never have the problems he does if he were even a little less enamored by this sport.

and you really have to wonder where he would be without ushijima and kageyama as his obstacles. his drive will always be there, that is an intrinsic part of him, as are the standards to which he holds himself, but you really have to wonder just how good oikawa would be if he didn’t have such direct competitors. this is an incredibly important question to ask about kageyama and oikawa in particular. yes, oikawa does loathe ushijima: for his disregard for oikawa’s decisions, for his disregard of oikawa’s loyalty, for his flippant attitude of seijoh, who oikawa has poured his blood and sweat into creating. but ushijima is an opposite hitter. oikawa is a setter. those are two very different positions with little crossover. but with kageyama--that is a clear rivalry. they push each other to be better, made all the more potent by their differences as players; one setter’s growth as a player directly impacts how the other performs in each subsequent game. seijoh’s defeat by karasuno in season 2 just feeds into oikawa’s drive for the future. he has not intention of giving up. a light was lit under him, pushing him forward, to do better, to be better.

this is something that has been pointed out in a different analysis (linked below) but, narratively speaking, oikawa is kageyama’s foil. their interactions inform their characters and are a major cause of tension in their development. their relationship is really the most complex in the story that i have noticed, and is something that has not been appreciated enough. the iwaizumi-oikawa thing has been expounded and studied in every facet possible (i love the alexander the great/hephaestion allusions), but it’s true that kageyama has impacted oikawa the most. they begrudgingly respect each other’s talents, what it is that they bring to the court, while also envying what the other has in spades that they do not. in oikawa’s case, his strength clearly lies in his interpersonal relationships--his ability to intuit exactly what his teammates need to be at their best. kags is just a fount of overwhelming technical skill who has a really hard time getting to know those around him. living up to the standards that oikawa places on himself, in tandem with kageyama threatening his position as setter, leave oikawa floundering, fearing his own incompetence against opponents who are naturally much better than he. so he’s left with the knowledge that maybe his best isn’t good enough, but he still continues on anyway. he pushes himself past a seemingly unreachable threshold just to go toe-to-toe with this monster. it’s the purpose of his character--to tell this story of the ordinary v. the extraordinary--and it is perhaps the most relatable arc that a story like haikyuu!! can tell.

their connection naturally causes oikawa to seek out help, seen in the flashback scenes where he is talking to an unspecified coach/adult. that coach’s words then become the creed upon which oikawa plays, maybe even more than what iwaizumi has taught him, and is the final push that completes oikawa’s character arc in s2ep24. that change in mindset allows oikawa to see kageyama’s unbridled talent not as an obstacle but as a challenge. it’s very nuanced, but it makes all the difference. it’s why, following seijoh’s defeat, oikawa has the audacity to declare to kageyama and ushijima his plans for the future. in a sense, karasuno and kageyama and ushijima have won the battle but not the war. it’s the tipping point in his story and, more than anything, what makes oikawa so compelling. we have seen what has led up to the change, but now we want to know what he’s going to do to meet that challenge. what will he be doing beyond the story when he is no longer relevant to the narrative? we don’t know the details at this point, but we know that oikawa’s love and ambition for volleyball have been reaffirmed in this moment.

but to bring it back, the kags-oiks connection also makes us question what it is we are watching, makes us as the audience think: what qualifies someone as a genius? are there any limitations to what that genius can do? what can ordinary people do in the face of those geniuses?

these are questions that exist beyond the reality of sports and transverse into other disciplines. for me, those are very real questions that i have had to ask myself as a musician. i have dedicated nine, almost 10, years to my practice but there are still 10-year-olds who are just better at it than i ever will be. part of it is time and practice to be sure, but some of it is just innate. and i think the more appropriate version of those questions would be this: what qualifies someone as a prodigy? are there limitations for prodigies? what can we do in the face of prodigies?

oikawa is a genius player--he knows the ins-and-outs of his sport better than anyone, and he can accomplish great feats that others in his same position can’t. but even with all that veritable experience and skill, he is ultimately still overtaken by a prodigy whose talents seem endless. it’s why he can hate ushijima but fear kageyama. one is something he can actively fight against, the other is inevitable.

and really, i think that’s the beauty of oikawa tooru, why he’s so beloved by the fandom, even years after he has stopped being relevant to the narrative. beyond the fluff and goofiness and hijinks, there’s someone there who is really, truly, human.

an aside with much less significance/why do people think this??

so here’s one thing: even though oikawa has fangirls, i wonder what he actually thinks of them. for one, it’s only natural for anyone to be super flattered if people think you’re hot stuff. that’s just... i don’t think he’s weird if he pays attention to them. but i think that people are conflating his being kind to them to being genuinely egotistical due to the attention. actually, i think these are opposing ideas and a contradiction of who oikawa is. when you’re an arrogant person, you think that you deserve all the attention you’re getting and you’re not going to bother with the people who worship you.

but that’s not at all what oikawa does. he’s rather kind to his fans. i would never say that he’s self-effacing, but knowing what you’re worth is different from being pompous. and think about it. it’d be a real jerk move for oikawa to not say nice things to them and thank his fangirls when they spend time, energy, and effort to make him food and see his games. he would just be a genuinely awful person if he didn’t at least give them thanks. it’d be more alarming if he didn’t talk to them, at least in my opinion. more than anything, we should consider this: why is it that oikawa has the fan club and not anyone else on the seijoh team? i’m sure a part of it is because he’s attractive and the captain of a team, but i think it’s more than that, too. we see these interactions from other perspectives, but i think that reflects more on those around oikawa than oikawa himself if they don’t understand why he acts the way he does with those girls.

another thing: i don’t think that anyone can question that oikawa is very pretty, or handsome, or whatever descriptor you would like. it’s prevalent in fandom (see: pretty setters squad), but he is also the only person in canon to be acknowledged by other characters as being particularly good-looking. maybe the miyas count at this point? i’m not sure. but i don’t really understand where people get the idea that he is particularly focused on his appearance, though. there is literally no indication of that from the material that i have seen. and maybe he uses that to his advantage with his fangirls, but i highly doubt that, in all honesty. i think that it’s fun to imagine him being into these things as a hobby, but it irks me greatly when i see that people spend time saying that oikawa wakes up extra early just to fix his hair or slather on foundation/concealer just to look presentable.

he’s a teenaged boy who clearly has other things that worry him, he’s a full-time student, and volunteers to coach at lil tykes volleyball classroom in his free time. he wouldn’t have time to spend on his hair or makeup. and we even seen in the hanger tooru special that he even wakes up looking like that.

he is au naturale, my friends. and we even know how little he gives thought to his own body, if you take into account his knee brace. for oikawa, his body is merely the medium through which he can accomplish his goals. we even have evidence of this when we see oikawa up all night studying karasuno game play or via his knee brace. he doesn’t know how to stop or understand when enough is enough. he breaks himself if there’s no one to watch him.

also, just... how would makeup work, logistically speaking? i don’t wear makeup, but i’m thinking that foundation and concealer and hair product would be, um, really bad. like, it’d run down his face and stuff. also, it’d probably get into his eyes, too? seriously. i’m not against oikawa wearing makeup in the slightest cause he’d be even prettier, but we know that oikawa would absolutely not jeopardize his chances in any way.

thank you for reading this long-winded, probably awful look into my favorite character of all time. and i do mean that. he is my favorite character in all of media. which, like, says a lot when he’s competing against the casts of a:tla, call me by your name, and my actual favorite book, the song of achilles. after all of that, if you would like another (better) analysis of oikawa’s character, i suggest this reddit thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/haikyuu/comments/94irsi/character_analysis_16_oikawa_tooru_discussion/

#oikawa tooru #haikyuu #character analysis #i'm so sorry about this #i just had to get this off of my chest #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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the-everqueen · 4 years ago

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why i disliked “the traitor baru cormorant”

so...recently i read Seth Dickinson’s The Traitor Baru Cormorant. i bought it thinking, Cool, an insightful fantasy series for me to get into while i wait to hear whether i passed my qualifying exams! i have some time before the semester starts!

and then i absolutely hated it and spent every minute cataloguing what i thought Dickinson got wrong.

...uh, if you want to get the tl;dr of the liveblog i gave the gf, here’s the top three reasons i disliked this book:

1) not a fan of the “strong female character” trope

yes, Baru doesn’t sling around a sword or shoot arrows better than Anyone In The Whole World. but Dickinson IMMEDIATELY tells us (not shows, tells) that she’s good at math, she’s clever at picking apart strategic scenarios, she’s a savant. (tbh, i don’t love how he shows this, either, with the standard child-prodigy-who-catches-the-attention-of-a-powerful-adult trope.) in Dickinson’s crafted world, her math skills aren’t entirely unusual: women (for...some reason?) are stereotyped as being good at calculations, despite also being aligned with hysteria and too many emotions. this bothers me more than it’s probably supposed to, because the sexism in this novel doesn’t really seem to follow an internal logic. i guess it’s so we can have a woman as the protagonist? also...hoo boy...her “savant” characterization bothers me because...she’s heavily coded as South East Asian (...maaaybe Philippines or Native Hawaii, but as i’ll get to later, Dickinson doesn’t make a huge distinction). uh...model minority stereotypes anyone? yes, within the text, plenty of people associated with the Empire comment that it’s impressive someone of her background got into a position of power so young. at the same time, i’m sure that sounds familiar to so many Asian-identified people! the constant tightrope of being expected to perform to a certain (white, Western) standard while also being Othered. mostly this bothers me because Baru is also characterized as...a sellout for the Empire. sure, her stated goal is to undo the Empire from within, but [MAJOR SPOILERS] in the end it appears that her actual goal was to attain enough power that the Empire would let her be a benevolent dictator over her home island? and it’s only after a major PERSONAL betrayal that she revises this plan? [END SPOILERS] Baru also assimilates without much pain or sacrifice. she hardly ever thinks about her parents or her childhood home. she willingly strips herself of cultural signifiers and adapts to Empire norms (apart from being a closeted lesbian, which...yeah, i’ll get to that, too). and it’s not that Dickinson doesn’t TRY to make her a nuanced character, but...to me, it feels so painfully obvious that this is not his experience. it feels almost...voyeuristic.

...much like his descriptions of wlw desire!

2) we get it, you read Foucault

the categories of sexual deviance are based entirely on a Western Victorian-era medical discourse around non-heterosexual forms of desire, but Dickinson ignores the network of sociocultural, religious, and historical contexts that contributed to that specific kind of discourse. he uses the terms “tribadism” and “sodomy” but those ideas CANNOT EXIST outside a Euro-American Christian context. yes, a huge part of the 19th century involved the pathologization of sexual and romantic desire (or lack thereof). but that in turn goes back to a history of medicine that relied on the “scientific method” as a means of studying and dissecting the human body--and that method in itself is a product of Enlightenment thinking. Theorist Sylvia Wynter (whomst everyone should read, imho) discusses how the Enlightenment attempted to make the Human (represented by a cisgender, heteronormative, white man) an agent of the State economy. every categorization of so-called deviance goes back to white supremacist attempts to define themselves as ‘human’ against a nonwhite, non-Christian Other. and IN TURN that was ultimately founded on anti-Black, anti-Indigenous racism. at this point it’s a meme in academic circles to mention Foucault, because so many scholars don’t go any further in engaging with his ideas or acknowledge their limits. but SERIOUSLY. Dickinson crafts the Masquerade as this psuedo-scientific empire that’s furthering erasure of native cultures, but...where did these ideas come from? who created them? what was the justification that gave them power? [MINOR SPOILER] blaming the Empire’s ideology on a handful of people behind the Mask who crafted this entire system makes me...uncomfortable, to say the least. part of what gives imperialism its power is that a lot of ordinary people buy in to its ideas, because it aligns with dominant belief systems or gives them some sense of advantage.

also speaking of cultural erasure...

3) culture is more than set dressing

again, to reiterate: Baru does NOT think back to her childhood home for longer than a couple passing sentences at various points in the narrative. but even though the early chapters literally take place on her home island, i don’t get a sense of...lived experience. this is true of ALL of the fantasy analogues Dickinson has created in his Empire. i felt uncomfortably aware of the real world counterparts that Dickinson was drawing inspiration from. at the same time...there are basically no details to really breathe life into these various fantasy cultures. i HATE the trope of “fantasy Asia” or “fantasy Africa” or “fantasy Middle East” that’s rampant among white male sff writers. Dickinson does not get points from me for basically just expanding that to “fantasy South East Asia,” “fantasy Mongolia,” “fantasy South America,” and... “fantasy Africa,” plus some European cultures crammed in there. he’s VERY OBVIOUSLY drawing on those languages for names, but otherwise there’s no real sense of their religious practices, the nuances of their cultures, the differences between those cultures (besides physiological, which...oh god). part of that is probably supposed to be justified by “well, the Empire just erased it!!!” but that’s not an excuse imho.

also...in making the Empire the ultimate signifier of the evils of imperialism...Dickinson kind of leans into the “noble savage” stereotype. Baru’s home island is portrayed as this idyllic environment where no one is shamed for who they love and gender doesn’t determine destiny and there are no major conflicts. (there is a minor nod to some infighting, but this is mostly a “weakness” that the Masquerade uses as an excuse to obliterate a whole tribe.) Dickinson justifies young Baru’s immediate assimilation as her attempt to figure out the Masquerade’s power from within, but given that the Masquerade presumably killed one of her dads and her mom maybe advocates a guerilla resistance...it’s weird that Baru basically abandons her family without a second thought. yeah, i get that she’s a kid when the Masquerade takes over the island, but...that’s still a hugely traumatic experience! the layers of trauma and conditioning and violence that go into this level of colonization are almost entirely externalized.

(later it’s implied that Baru might qualify as a psychopath, and tbh that feels like an excuse for why we haven’t gotten any sense of her inner world, not to mention kind of offensive.)

this isn’t exhaustive but...

it’s not that i don’t think white people shouldn’t ever address POC experiences in their books. just...if your entire trilogy is going to revolve around IMPERIALISM IS BAD, ACTUALLY, maybe you should contribute to the discourse that Black, Brown, and Indigenous authors have already done. reading this book made me so, so angry. i did not feel represented! i felt like i was being talked down to, both on a critical theory level AND on a craft level. there are SO MANY books by actual BIPOC and minority authors that have done this better. N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth Trilogy and her current Cities series. Nnedi Okorafor’s Binti trilogy. Leigh Bardugo’s Ninth House remains one of the more powerful novels i’ve read on how The System Is Out To Destroy You, That Is The Point. (Bardugo is non-practicing Spanish and Moroccan Jewish on one side of her family, and her character Alex is mixed and comes from a Jewish background!)

...

there’s not really a point to this. i get a lot of people have raved about this book. good for them. if that’s you, no judgment. i’m not trying to argue IF YOU LIKED THIS YOU ARE PROBLEMATIC. i’m just kind of enraged that a white dude wrote about a Brown lesbian under a colonial empire and that THIS Brown lesbian under a colonial empire couldn’t even get behind the representation. also kind of annoyed that it’s the Empire of Masks and Dickinson either hasn’t read Fanon or didn’t see fit to slip in a Fanon reference, which like. missed opportunity.

#meta #book review #maybe y'all can get enjoyment from my rage #also i don't want to publish this on like. goodreads.#i'm not out to destroy Seth Dickinson personally #i know this was a highly reviewed book #i just...hated it #and i figured putting the rage on my blog is less harmful #than leaving a one star review #while also maybe giving someone the insight #for why they might not want to read this #the traitor baru cormorant #the masked empire

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komoryriku · 4 years ago

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Is Kairi Capable of Mind Manipulation? : Kairi’s Letters and the Power they May Hold

So. I have some personal theories about Kairi that I need to get off my chest. There’s a lot. Above is a scene from the KH3 opening that I will be breaking down later but for now, please keep it in mind as we go… 

First of all, I’m so relieved that finally it’s been revealed that Kairi was a pawn in Xehanort’s schemes, now I don’t have to waste time arguing for that. All I will say is that evidence of this has been here since kh1:

Okay, moving on.

What does Kairi do exactly? Not too much on screen, but here’s what we know so far. -She holds the power of a princess of heart… maybe. -She is sent out to Destiny Islands to draw out the key blade bearer (Riku) -She writes letters to Sora. -She is closely connected to Namine, loosely connected to Xion, and figuratively comparable to Aqua. -She claims her memories of home are a little hazy for her. -She loves Sora as a friend. -She becomes Sora’s Chirithy.

If you want to know ahead of time what my ultimate theory is, here you go: Kairi has magic powers of memory or mind manipulation, and her letters, specifically, are manipulating Sora. If you wanna see me break down why I think this, here we go.

Pre-requisites to this theory:

I would very much prefer not to have to regurgitate certain things that are common knowledge to people in the soriku fandom and kh in general. This analyst is subscribed to the idea that Kingdom Hearts is written with queer coding and gay intent, that Riku is the Light, the Sleeping Realm theory is truth, that Sora and Riku will be romantically linked in the end. My reasoning is based on my own two eyes as well as the meta discourse surrounding these readings among like-minds, so if you have time, please read:

-Obligatory Sleeping Realm Theory Link -The Necklace Theory (Which is just canon but still not explicit in game) -Queer CoM Analysis

Okay, onward!

Parallels:

We do not know much about Kairi as of yet, but what the games do give us is a string of VERY major, obvious Parallels. We are asked over the course of several games to compare Kairi to 3 specific girls: Namine. Xion. Aqua.

Let me break these down. Again, I’m so glad they finally revealed she’s a pawn so this parallel breakdown isn’t even half as long as it would’ve been otherwise hahah.

Namine.

Namine is said to be Kairi’s nobody. There is so much I find suspicious about that but for the sake of staying on topic, I won’t get into it, that’s another theory for another day (though I will flirt with it the speculation section). More importantly, she is objectively, directly associated with Kairi and the plot begs us to draw very close parallels between her and Kairi.

Namine has special powers. She can manipulate Sora’s memories and the memories of those close to him. The characters believe she can do this because she was formed from Kairi’s heart and Sora’s body, and I don’t know if that’s true, but I do take for granted that she is a nobody formed from Sora’s sacrifice and that her powers exist because of her connection with Kairi. Either way, what does she actually do?

Namine spends her days surrounded by white walls, drawing pictures on paper that seemingly have the power to manipulate Sora’s memories. This is a pretty specific skill she has, and if you ask me her art style is pretty advanced for a nobody who wasn’t even formed that long ago. She has the artistic eye to include reflective lighting in her work, which is not only beautiful and colorful but in my experience, it’s something a lot of young artists don’t even think to consider as beginners. If nothing else though, its a very specific style. I will be bringing this back up later for some really fun speculation.

These drawings she does are beautiful but also specifically are tied to her powers to manipulate memories.

What we also know about Namine is that she is being used for her powers against her will. Better analysts have covered this already so I will simply say Namine is a good and caring person who has magical manipulative powers that people were abusing her for. She betrayed her captors by the end of COM by refusing to hurt Sora any longer. All the while being tied back to Kairi. What they were making her do though, was manipulate Sora’s memories to replace all images of Kairi with herself… but also certain memories of Riku. Specifically, the memory of Riku swearing an oath to protect Sora as he gave Sora his crown necklace during the meteor shower (seriously, please read those pre-req theories). And ever since her debut, the games have never allowed us to stray from connecting her back very directly to Kairi. Namine is the most literal of parallels. Please keep all of this in mind for later.

Xion.

Xion, conceptually, is an extremely complicated character. She is tied to Kairi in ways that are not as literal as Namine, but she is still very closely associated with her. Once again, far better analysts can explain her better than I can, but here are the most important notes I will make about her:

-Xion is a puppet containing Sora’s memories. -The memories creating Xion are a complex amalgam of memories related to Sora himself, Kairi, and Riku.

All we really need to note for this Kairi Theory Essay is that Xion is another Kairi parallel that is directly associated with missing/manipulated memories as well. She is inadvertently taking these memories from Roxas, the Sora parallel, whom she is copied from, and these memories specifically belong to Sora. Twice in a row, Nomura has told us Kairi parallels are related to Sora’s memories being affected.

That’s all we really need to know for now, but I will also speculate further on Xion in relation to this theory later.~

Aqua

Aqua is not a literal Kairi parallel the way that Namine and Xion are. Aqua has no direct ties to Kairi the way they do, and her character is entirely original and not related to Kairi. However, Aqua is still figuratively a Kairi parallel, due to the role she plays in her story. I’ve already broken down elsewhere what role she plays that is meant to mirror Kairi, but the tl;dr of that is Aqua was set up as a pawn to observe, draw out her friends, and create a division between them. Like Kairi as well, she is not to be defined by these acts, because she truly loves her friends and dedicated her heart’s power to protecting them and saving them. She protects Ven’s body the way Kairi protected Sora’s bodily form. She also works to keep Ven from breaking by telling him he has always lived here with them and Eraqus, the same way Kairi as a Chirithy works to help Sora by taking his memory of Riku’s sacrifice away. Once again, even with the loosest of Kairi parallels, we see memory manipulation at play with the Sora parallel.

Chirithy

I will keep this short because I hope that you read the Sleeping Realm Theory and I also trust that you have the critical thinking skills to understand this symbolic (and literal) concept easily lol. Kairi is Sora’s chirithy the way Riku is Sora’s dream eater. A Chirithy is a specific kind of dream eater, however. A chirithy is made to follow you as your companion, and they specifically lead you into new timelines, taking away the traumatic memories you gained that caused the timeline to shift. We see this play out in KHUX, and with controversy, as the chirithies themselves discuss whether or not it’s actually morally okay for them to take those memories. Although that is a question, Kairi’s instincts are, in my opinion, purely and sweetly to protect Sora. She promised to keep him safe, (I’ve been supposing at that point in the loop she knew she was a Chirithy, and she most certainly was his chirithy by then either way given the ears on her hood appearing after Sora’s dream drop occurred). She does take Sora’s traumatic memories away, it is her job to do so, and I believe she does this solely because she means well and wants to keep him safe and smiling, as her letter to Sora suggests.

Unfortunately, what this specifically does though, is removes Sora’s memory of Riku’s sacrifice. It is stolen from him in that sense. Not only that, but because Sora’s memory of Riku’s sacrifice was taken, in spite of the event being etched onto his heart, and the pain of it being scarred into it, Sora credits Kairi as the source of the light he is following in the darkness. We know for a fact that that light is Riku’s because we saw the sacrifice, we remember it, we saw Sora call to it as Riku and receive a response, we even see Kairi twirl in front of the light and back away from it to lead Sora into it because it is not her light. Kairi, in a very literal way, has replaced Riku in Sora’s mind regarding who his light is. Kairi herself does not do this, it is Sora who fools himself because his memory was taken, but nevertheless, Kairi has just replaced Riku in Sora’s thoughts regarding this light and erased his memory of Riku’s sacrifice.

I will suggest more Things in the speculation section~

Now that all of that is out of the way, Lets Talk About Kairi’s Letters.

What do they do? Well, objectively, we do not know. That’s why this is a theory lol. But regardless of any magic or manipulation, letters are a means of forging a connection with others. Letters to friends by nature are words from the heart intended for someone you care about.

But literally speaking in the series, Kairi’s letters do something a little more special. In kh2 they forge a literal connection to Sora from Kairi. Sora is “trapped” in the dark realm with Riku, but pretty content to be so. No door opened, and that was the ending they had happily resigned to. It is not until Sora reads Kairi’s letter, emphasized by the camera, that the door to light opens. At the very least, we know for sure that manipulation or not, Kairi’s letters are capable of doing that much…

Kairi also tells us she writes letters to Sora and doesn’t even send them. For whatever reason, however, she sent the letter in Kh2 as soon as she remembered who Sora was post his reconstruction. And this is pretty much all we know for sure.

If I say “Kairi’s letters are manipulating Sora” thats rather jumping to conclusions, cuz obviously there are missing pieces. All we have is: Kairi—>Letters—> ___ —>Sora.

That’s not enough to make the conclusion. But that’s where those handy dandy parallels come in.

Namine—> Drawings—> Manipulate—>Sora Xion—->Memories—-> Borrowed—> (Roxas—>) Sora Aqua—-> White Lies—> Distract—> Ven Chirithy----> Memories----> Taken----> Keyblade Wielder

So as you can see, the missing piece that fits the puzzle, isn’t so hard to theory-craft. Especially between Namine and Kairi. It is a jump to a conclusion, but it is far from a leap. True or not, this is my working theory.

So it’s time for speculation.  Things that I have been exploring on the other side of that “leap”.

Kairis letters

Let’s start with the first letter we get to read from Kairi.

Pretty sweet sentiments right? But here is the thing about some of those lines in particular… “Many worlds sharing the same sky” is something Sora has already heard… from Riku.

Not to mention, something about this dark realm scene in Kh2 always bothered me… Sora is seemingly in utter bliss with Riku in the dark realm.

He does wanna get Riku home but if they’re stuck here, they are not complaining. And then the camera lingers for a pretty long time on Riku handing Sora that letter. That usually means they want me to notice it and consider it… Okay, time to consider it.~

The letter pretty certainly opened the door to light by forging a connection to Sora from the light world with Kairi. Sora was so content that he wasn’t even connecting to home. Not until he read this nice letter from his friend Kairi. There is nothing manipulative about that on its own… but we have been asked by the games to parallel Kairi to Namine so I think it’s fair to suggest Kairi’s creative writing should really be considered thoughtfully the way Namine’s drawings are. The most basic logic is these letters are affecting Sora’s mind in some way. What further leads me to think this? The only thing Sora was even thinking about in this scene before reading that letter was Riku. Riku’s company, Riku’s injury, Riku’s happiness, Riku, Riku, Riku. And then as someone else pointed out here, Sora sees Kairi in the light world after reading this letter and leaves Riku to struggle to shore on his own.

This doesn’t have to mean anything but we know Riku is injured, We know the Sun is Riku’s symbol, and Sora is running from Riku, eclipsing the Sun, and rushing back to shore where Kairi is waiting to welcome him home. It is jarring when you think about it. How did Sora go from thinking about nothing else BUT Riku to leaving him with a probably-broken-hip to struggle to shore on his own? It is no wonder Riku is always left to think he is going to be alone in life and he has no choice but to struggle out of the darkness on his own.

This mirrors something in particular….

The scene of Sora losing Riku to the darkness in the KH1 opening…

Followed by shot for shot re-animation of Sora chasing Riku’s Light in the KH3 Dive to the Heart.

And something about the scene in Kh1 always really bothered me… Sora was worried sick about Riku when he lost him to the sea- only to suddenly be happy and appear blissfully ignorant of Riku disappearing the moment he sees Kairi. As if he just suddenly forgot about him upon seeing her.

And I think the parallels speak for themselves. (Don’t forget about that beach scene in the Kh3 op either... we are getting to that.)

I’m not saying Kairi and her letters make Sora forget about Riku, but…

I’m also not saying Kairi’s letters replace memories of Riku with herself, I actually don’t know that there’s enough here to make that statement likely… So I won’t… say that…

(I hope you read those pre-req’s because I’m going to assume you speak the KH language regarding Sora, Riku, and Kairi vs, water, land and air, vs Light/Dark, the Sun, the Moon, Dawn, Sunset, Night… all that good stuff.)

Now let’s talk about her letter in 3.

Oh this is interesting. Repeating motifs. Almost as though the game is trying to tell us something crucial.

Full transcript of Kairi’s KH3 letter to Sora that she has no intention of sending:

I'm sorry I left without saying good-bye. Did Master Yen Sid tell you? I'm training to become a Keyblade wielder like you.  That's right. No more waiting for you to come back from your adventures.  I want to get out there and do my part to help.  Merlin has used his magic to bring us to a place where time doesn't matter. We can take as long as we need to complete our training. He's an amazing wizard.  Oh, and by "us," I mean me and lea.  He's really sorry for all the trouble he caused. I told him it's fine, but he won't stop apologizing.  I'll admit I was a little scared of him at first, but I've gotten to know him better. All he ever wanted was to help his friend.  Honestly, it's hard not to like him.  Every now and then, I catch him staring at me. When I ask what's wrong, he says, "I'm not sure. I think I'm forgetting something. Don't know what."  Sora, I think it may have something to do with you.  Your journey is all about helping people: some that you've never met before, and some like Lea that you have. They're all counting on you.  It won't be easy, but I hope you'll remain the happy and cheerful Sora I know.  There's no heart your smile can't reach.

In particular, this letter goes on and on about Lea and how he has turned over a new leaf and deserves forgiveness. Personally, I took this to mean Kairi is really hoping Sora will forgive her for the part she was forced to play in Xehanort’s plot, perhaps her writing even influencing his mind to do so via urging him to forgive Lea. You may notice that this would imply that Kairi is fully aware of her role in Norty Nort’s plot. And to that I say yes, it sure would. But not as much as her leading Sora around to her various “heart” pieces like a moth to the wrong flame in Re:Mind.

Anyway, this is not a letter she intends to send to Sora, and she makes a note of this to Lea, even when he tells her plainly that Merlin will deliver it for her. If we keep in mind that Namine’s art doesn’t even need to be seen by Sora for the mind tricks to work, then perhaps- Sora really doesn’t even need to receive this letter for its influence to work. This would rather make her frantic attempt to send the letter in Kh2 a little strange, but consider this: Her close connections to Sora are potentially based very heavily on these letters. Especially if some of her connections are based on making him forget Riku at various points. Having forgotten Sora in Kh2 until he was reconstructed, and considering that Sora barely reacts to her reunion hug with him, it rather makes a lot of sense that Kairi needed to forge a new connection with him, via one of her letters. In that case, Sora needed to actually read it.

KH3 OP

Beach Scene

Now, finally, I want to talk about that part of the Kh3 opening I mentioned at the very beginning. We are back. Once again, I trust you speak the language of Kh symbolism.

This section begins with Kairi suddenly appearing against a bright white background. Forgive me if I suggest hey, that reminds me of Namine’s white walls, or some blank pages... Next, Sora appears in the empty white environment, which remains white until, seemingly, their eyes meet. And THEN, after that delay, the world of Destiny Islands starts rendering in like a game slowly loading a world on a slow engine. Once again, the motif of Sora standing in the ocean, and running up to Kairi on the shore takes place. He is happy to see her. Perhaps he thinks he found the Light that Chirithy told him to search for. Hey this time Kairi is even running into the sea to meet him instead of waiting for him, just like she said! good for her~. Anyway. As they run out to meet each other, however, lightning strikes. Sora doesn’t see it, but he clearly senses it in some way and stops, (didn’t someone once tell Sora to mind what he hears and not what he sees?~). The camera then zooms out to reveal Sora and Kairi as pieces on a chess board in Nort and Eraqus’ game. Now, this essayist takes for granted that Riku is the Light cuz the text says so. Because of that, my first instinct is to say the purple lighting that we saw represents Riku. A forgotten, heartbroken, lonely Riku. Lightning being one of the most destructive forms of light after all, and Riku would be particularly hurt to know that Sora has forgotten him.

Where is Riku?

What is really interesting about this opening is the severe, odd, lack of Riku. He is missing throughout most of it but in particular when Sora is fighting Xemnas. In the opening for Dream Drop Distance, Riku is very much there, and the animations of him harmoniously fighting with Sora, as well as protecting Sora, self sacrificially are prominent, are there because they want you to remember exactly what happened in that scene and what Riku did.

Only for that to be absent from Sora’s boss battle review sequence in Kh3’s opening. At first, I found his absence annoying but now I’ve come to realize there is a reason for it. The popular theory is that it relates to Sora’s memories being taken away. Riku’s sacrifice most certainly was one of them, thanks to Kairi as his chirithy, but that’s not the memory missing from the opening sequence. It’s basically Riku in general outside of the fall of Destiny Islands, the cast shot, and the shot of him walking into the light from shadow. There isn’t a review of previous games in which Riku played the crucial role he did, and nothing from Dream Drop Distance. To that I personally say, this is most likely foreshadowing that Sora will lose ALL his memories of Riku- as his entry fee to play the Reaper’s Game in Shibuya… Oh yes, TWEWY is also a pre-requisite for this theory lol but you should also play it in general cuz it’s a great story and if nothing else is obviously crucial to what comes next in Kingdom Hearts. Highly speculative, but my assumption is that once Sora beats the game and Joshua returns all of his memories, he will give Sora EVERYTHING back, including anything Kairi has removed as his chirithy or anything she has manipulated as herself.

Further Parallel Speculation

Remember when I said I’d love to elaborate? Well here we are~ We’re gonna get super gay too.

Namine:

Namine is a figure that represents, to me, a brilliant use of queer coding about a queer struggle known as compulsory heterosexuality (or comp-het for short as I’ll be repeating this term a lot). If you made it this far and aren’t lgbt savvy then I’ll tell you that comp-het means compulsively feeling attraction to someone of the opposite sex based on heteronormative conditioning. As Sora roams through Castle Oblivion, he is constantly finding himself misplacing memories of Kairi onto Namine followed by eventually memories of Riku onto Namine. This is one of the most literal depictions of the comp-het phenomenon I’ve ever seen, and it is BOLDLY placed in a mainstream video game from the year 2003. It’s quite admirable in my opinion. Namine’s abilities grant us a convoluted plot so confusing that most people will not understand right away, but to the queer eye familiar with comp-het, it provides a strong implication that Sora may be even more confused than we think about who it is he is in love with. To illustrate, it means Sora thinks he likes Kairi romantically cuz society told him being straight is the default way we live. In actuality, he is projecting his feelings for Riku onto Kairi, (with Riku doing the same until COM and onward), and in COM, those Riku->Kairi feelings are projected onto Namine. She creates another layer of distance between them. But even without her presence, Kairi is still there between them, a question that begs to be answered, and yet another extremely common parallel.

Namine is extremely uncomfortable taking the necklace memory of Riku and imposing herself on it. But when you consider Kairi may have been manipulating Sora, it makes me also wonder how many of Sora’s Kairi memories are actually Riku memories, and whether or not Namine even CAN fix those memories… Just food for thought. Speaking of comp-het...

Xion Xion is an even more convoluted character creation, designed to confuse you even more than Namine does. In my eyes, Xion is very literally comp-het personified. Xion, as far as we’ve been told, is a puppet, a copy of Roxas but blank slate. A literal nobody. They are only what you project onto them. And what did Xion become?

Xion became a real confusing amalgam of so many things. -Roxas initially projects GirlTM onto her. Literally. This makes sense since he already has Axel, a male friend, and his instincts coming from Sora’s memories casually assume a female friend is needed to complete their trio. This is because Kairi was that female friend to Sora. -Over time, as Xion craves becoming whole, she inadvertently receives more memories from Roxas (Sora), of Kairi and obtains her face (albeit with black hair, and there are numerous theories about why that is but this essay is already really long lol). -The strange thing is though- despite having Kairi’s face, the hints we get are that Riku memories are zapping into her too. Not only that, but her death grants Roxas Oblivion as she enters his heart. -I don’t think I need to explain what that implies, but to keep it short, Oblivion is representative of Riku’s oath to Sora associated with the necklace memory. Namine was correct to tell Ansem the Wise that the missing memories are crucial to Sora. I have an analysis on Oblivion vs Promise Keeper that I keep meaning to post but the tl;dr of it is that Oblivion has nothing whatsoever to do with Kairi and EVERYTHING ENTIRELY to do with Riku and his oath to protect Sora. It should have no association with her whatsoever. She is also Roxas’ forgotten friend once the memories of her go away the way Sora’s memories of Riku will. -The manga also much more clearly shows us that the feelings Xion is thriving on from Sora are feelings associated with Riku: the empowerment he feels when fighting with friends.

So if I may, here is the returning theme of projection, of misplaced affection, of misplaced memories. This theme is SO CONSTANT with every Kairi scene and parallel we get, and I do not think it is a stretch to say they are not just here to discuss queer themes of compulsory heterosexuality, but are integral to the plot of KH in a very literal, physical way. In other words, it comes up with Kairi way too often to make mind manipulation a leap. It’s still a jump, but it is not a leap.

Aqua

Aqua is not a literal Kairi parallel the way Namine and Xion are, so she does not bring any major compulsory heterosexuality themes to the table, and her “mind manipulation”, if my theory on white lies between the BBS trio is correct, is pretty minuscule as far as we can tell. This does not mean there isn’t anything to speculate on regarding Kairi’s powers though.

Aqua is a gifted mage, and places a protective spell on Kairi when they meet. This is such a sweet and sentimental moment and I love it so much. She also literally gives her friends way finder charms based on paopu fruits the way Kairi does for Sora. So there are some literal parallels to be found there, but the ideas that concern me most are these-

Aqua is associated with magic. Given that Aqua, Namine, and Xion, are all associated with water, like Kairi, (again I assume you speak the KH language of symbolism and metaphor), and some form of magic (Namine with mind powers, and Xion wielding the key blade), is it possible that Kairi is also a mage of some kind? Or at least harbors the powers of a mage, the way she harnesses the power of a princess of heart?

Re:Mind menu screen art

This is an analysis I’ve been dying to post but only since Kairi has been outed as a pawn spy for Xehanort have I felt free enough to do so without going through the trouble of proving her association with the dark side. You are welcome to dismiss this analysis for reading too much into it but if you’re as deep into this as I am then here we go~

First of all, I want to call attention to how beautiful this art is, and how wonderfully symbolic I think it is, and what it actually reminds me of. Do you remember my comments earlier about Namine having a specific art style, which incorporates reflective light in her coloring? Look at the oceanic blue in Sora’s grey pants and jacket. Look at the yellow from sunlight in Sora’s hair. Look at the blue and yellow reflecting in Kairi’s pink dress and her red hair. Look at the tinge of blue from the sea reflecting on Sora’s paopu fruit. I am not saying this menu art is supposed to be literally drawn by Namine, I sincerely do not think it is lol, this is a symbolic image. But I do think it is meant to REMIND us of Namine’s art.

This menu screen, like the blank pages of a sketch book or notebook, like the beach scene in the KH3 opening, begins with a white screen. Slowly fading in, like the beach scene in the KH3 opening, or a game with a slow loading engine, we have a sketch of Sora. Sora’s feet appear already immersed in the water, as he is eating a paopu fruit, continuing his walk out to sea that we have been seeing him take since kh1 with these key arts. Sora is walking out into the ocean alone, and the coloring fades in bringing the scene to life. This is all the menu art is for KH3.

When Re:Mind was released, the menu screen for it evolved. Now, suddenly fading into this pre-existing scene is a drawing of Kairi, inserted into the moment. Kairi is depicted with a paopu fruit of her own, and she enters the scene with her feet standing on top of the water, not immersed like Sora’s the way they should be considering the depth of the water. This could be a mistake and nothing more… except the water has splash animations added around their feet, meaning this is something someone absolutely should have caught because animations are here drawing our attention to it. This would imply that it means something, so- what? Kairi is not immersed in the ocean, (darkness?), the way Sora is. She is walking /on/ water, not in it. I think this may very well be representative of her protecting Sora’s form as he navigates the new timeline in the dream scape, similar to when we see Riku and Sora walking on water in the dark realm. Or it may represent the way she is navigating darkness but is not immersed in darkness. She treads over it, not through it.

We do not know what this menu screen means. But here is my take on it. Because it is meant to remind us of Namine, we should consider mind manipulation is at play. Because Kairi appears here only after Re:Mind is released, in her Chirithy hood and eating a paopu with Sora, we are to recognize this as the second timeline, in which Kairi has been added to Sora’s journey like a figure in Namine’s art. We should also remember that as Sora’s chirithy, she has removed his traumatic memory of the timeline shift and very specifically removed his memory of Riku dying as he sacrificed himself for Sora. As the title implies, the game wants to remind us of what happened: the timeline being rewritten, as well as Sora’s Memories being rewritten, and in a sense, Sora’s MIND being REwritten. So much to do with mind and memory being affected...

A couple more theories as food for thought:

Kairi’s Grandmother:

You may have been wondering how Kairi could be so pure of heart, as far as we are aware, and yet capable of morally grey things like manipulation at best, and outright terrible things at worst? Well, here is my theory: Kairi’s grandmother has been held hostage and used as leverage against Kairi. For as often as Kairi has been used as a catalyst to bait Sora into acting for Xehanort’s schemes, we know Norty and the powers he works for, (Master of Masters), are no strangers to keeping hostages as motivation for their pawns. I’m just going to fill in the missing blanks between “Kairi’s missing grandmother” and “Kairi acting for the dark side”. Remember her letter to Sora that she didn’t send where she told Sora that Lea was just acting out evil to save his friend, and he’s actually a very good guy and a lovable friend you can’t help forgiving?

I think this is intending to draw a redemption arc parallel between Kairi and Lea that is even more literal than you think. Axel was acting out harshly because he would do anything to bring Roxas back, even willing to destroy Sora to make that happen. If Kairi’s only family was being kept prisoner and threatened with death unless Kairi did what she was told, how can you blame Kairi for her actions? Especially when she started playing the role of a pawn as a helpless child. We don’t know what she’s been through, but probably a lot of traumatic experiences. There is no reason to consider Kairi evil, and although you can explain her actions any number of ways, this one seems the most likely to me.

Her parallels likewise have had a reasonable motivation for their actions if they were even willful at all. 

-Namine herself was being held captive, with the organization forcing her to commit acts of violating mind manipulation. Seeing how genuinely kind Sora was, however, she eventually refused to be their pawn anymore -Xion did not even willfully take Sora’s memories, she was a complete victim of circumstance. Even when wanting to run away, however, Roxas simply was not going to live if she were around to continue absorbing his powers. Thus she chooses to return to Sora. -Aqua is not spying on Terra or trying to drag Ven home because she wants to. She is doing it because Eraqus burdened her with this task. She protects Ven with all she has in the end, and sacrifices herself to give Terra a chance at survival.

Do not assume that Kairi being capable of doing these things, or actually doing them makes her evil. KH has been pretty consistent about showing the ways in which women are often forced by the patriarchy to perform various deeds against their will and there is no reason to hate her for this or think the worst of her when she is more than likely just as much a victim of circumstance as anybody else in her position would be. I think it’s very fair to be mad at someone in her position if you were the one being manipulated by her, but never forget to be fair in your judgement of this fictional character being manipulated by the forces of evil in this fictional world which uses her as a pawn. Kairi can still a good person of good intent even if she had to do bad things.  

Time to reach: Ava

Since I’m already several layers deep in speculation I just thought I’d throw this out there as food for thought. It’s a popular theory that Ava, the missing foreteller, is dwelling within Kairi’s heart, which could possibly mean Namine is Ava’s nobody the way Roxas is likely Ven’s, as they were both dwelling in Kairi’s heart and Sora’s heart respectively when Sora sacrificed himself. Ava is particualrly skilled in the art of Illusions, which is pretty relevant to the idea that Kairi and Namine are directly manipulating Sora’s mind. Namine’s powers involve rearranging memories, and drawing new memories illustration what she is creating. She is literally creating illusions in the mind. If Ava is dwelling in Kairi’s heart, perhaps logically Kairi can use these powers but not directly. She cannot create illusions out of thin air, but can play tricks on the mind with them. Namine forming from Kairi’s heart having meshed with Ava’s heart might thus be able to create mind illusions, using drawn illusions. Is Ava the source of Kairi’s powers? Is Ava the princess of heart which Kairi is using to do her jobs? Well, I don’t know lol. It’s just out there as food for thought.

In Conclusion.... Nothing, really lol

All we have to go on are consistent parallels and strong guesses. Kairi may or may not be able to manipulate minds, and her letters may or may not influence Sora’s mind. I don’t know. It is worth considering though, I think. However, I ask that you judge Kairi fairly, open mindedly, and do not underestimate how powerful she may very well be. I cannot wait to see what will be revealed about her character in the future.

#kingdom hearts #soriku #kairi #kh theory #kh kairi #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3

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paradiselostbythedashboardlight · 4 years ago

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Quarantine, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Wrote 430,943 Words of Prose in a Year

As we are coming up terrifyingly fast on a full year of quarantine with no end to the pandemic yet in sight for most people, I’ve been taking some time to reflect on the last year of my existence in a state that most people now refer to as quarantine. Since March of 2020, I, like most other sane people in my country, have stopped traveling, going to stores, seeing all but a limited group of other humans, and begun having recurring nightmares about being in crowds without a piece of cloth over my nose and mouth.

Suffice to say, it has been a bit stressful.

The other thing that I have done since COVID-19 began rapidly spreading across the globe last year is write over 430,943 words of fiction.

The number seems insane to me still. That is (approximately) one Gone With The Wind, one entire Lord of the Rings series, or the first four Harry Potter books. That is still sadly not yet War and Peace (but who knows… the pandemic isn’t over yet).

So now that I am looking back, I find myself with one question: how did this happen? Why did I do this? What does this mean about my life this year?

Since apparently I answer best by writing a lot, let’s begin at the beginning. Let me tell you a story. I’ll keep it short, I swear.

Part 1: Blast From the Past

In March of 2020, I was still in the midst of an academic semester. There was a long academic document to write and a class to teach. However, as quarantine abruptly robbed me of most of my usual commitments, I was suddenly thrust into the position of having more time on my hands than I knew what to do with. Consequently, I decided to break out the Nintendo Switch I’d gotten for Christmas and revive a childhood interest in video games.

And boy did I. I played the games I owned for all they were worth. I played them during the evenings when I had no social engagements to attend. I played them during the Zoom meetings I was already struggling to pay attention to. By the end of March, I had finished one game, and it had set the wheels turning in my brain.

Here’s a fact about me: I don’t usually tend to write or read a lot of fanfiction about things that I consider really really good. Basically, fanfiction for me has always been an impulse born from incompletion or imperfection. I see no need to add to a perfect story (although I happily consume and create fanart). But for something enjoyable and yet slightly unsatisfying? That’s fanfic territory, bud.

So by April, I had developed a sort of epic fanfiction for this video game I was playing. It was one of those magnum opus kind of ideas, a grand retelling of the story with a huge sprawling plot and Themes (™).

At first, it was merely a thought experiment that lived only in my head, a sort of entertainment to ponder in the hours before falling asleep. What changed? Well, a friend of mine decided to also write a fanfiction on the same video game and she kindly consented to let me read it.

Suddenly, I was ravenously hungry to read and to write and to share and to consume. I wrote a hundred thousand words of this fanfic in April and into early May, sending each chapter to my friend and being spurred onward by her kind comments.

The fic became a gargantuan endeavor full of strange little challenges I set for myself. It was a canon-divergence, requiring plotting, worldbuilding, a darker and grimer tone. For some reason, I decided to write each chapter from a different character’s perspective, making the final product into a series of essentially short story character studies which together formed a plot.

By the end of May, the story was published for the world to see. It was well-received, although not particularly popular by fandom standards. And that was the end. I had gotten out my pandemic crazies, the semester was over and now I could move on. I had made my peace with the source material, plumbing all of the little details that I wanted to examine and creating a narrative that I found satisfying.

It was over.

Part 2: Summer Lovin?

Except that it wasn’t.

Confession: as I had been posting my giant fanfiction, I had also begun to explore the fan community itself, mostly curious to see some nice art and gather a bit of demographic info about what was popular within the community. As a result, I found a fanfic recommendations page. Among the recommendations was one author who kept popping up and i finally decided to give the fic a read.

Woah. It was good. Like, really good. Like, professional quality writing and themes that seemed designed to appeal to me. I devoured everything that the creator had posted in a week and then subscribed to eagerly wait for more.

As June rolled around, I realized that I had a problem on my hands. My great big gen masterpiece was finished, but this author had gotten me hooked on something else, something with a nefarious reputation online: shipping.

The term du jour for this seems to be “brain worms” so let’s just say that reading other fanworks had given me some brain worms. Inspired this time not just by the source material of the game, but now the fan community itself, my mind began to develop another idea.

I wrote the fic, about 11k, in a single afternoon of frantic writing. When I finished it, I knew it was one of my strongest pieces. It had just come together, a combination of all the thought that I’d been brewing up and a stylistic execution that just worked with the story I wanted to tell.

I posted it on a new account. Shipping seemed vaguely shameful to me still and my mom reads the other account.

To my surprise, the fic blew up. It got so much more attention than my long fic ever had. Even more significantly, a fan artist actually drew a gorgeous comic of the pivotal scene, completely out of the blue! I was essentially thunderstruck. Honestly, it was probably the first time in my life that I’d ever received so much positive reinforcement from a piece of writing.

While I’d written short stories for undergrad workshops, they’d never been particularly good and I’d never gotten particularly great feedback on them. I’d applied and been rejected by more MFAs and literary magazines than I could count. I’d pretty much resigned myself to writing for an audience of me and me alone (which I don’t mean to sound tragic about, writing for you is great and fun!)

But receiving so much support and praise and feeling like I’d made other people happy or sad or moved? There’s nothing better.

This makes my decision to write another fic for the ship sound vaguely cynical, the action of a person driven by an addiction to praise. I mean, no lie, aren’t we all a little addicted to approval?

But my next fic was another long one, an 80k passion project modern AU that I dreamed up while spending a slow summer alone with my books and only able to leave the house for long rambling walks in the woods. The premise was essentially about characters attending a five year college reunion, something that I myself had missed due to COVID in May of the same year. The fic quickly became a way for me to process thoughts on a lot of topics in my life ranging from relationships to politics to mental health to classical literature.

This fic was also received with far more attention than I was used to and, as a result, I finally joined the notorious Twitter dot com where I found people talking about my fic unprompted, eager to follow me and like my every random thought.

I can’t say that this process was not without its ups and downs. Fandom has changed, in many ways for the better, since my last engagement with it during the 2013 Supernatural days on Tumblr. While fan friendships are often idealized or demonized, they are pretty much like any other human friendship (okay, maybe a little bit more horny on main). There is potential for amazing connection as well as pettiness. But in a year where many people suddenly had no social spaces that were safe anymore, I’m glad that I found a new line of communication with the world.

So I kept writing fics for the ship, producing a lot of work that I am genuinely proud of and making connections with other people who enjoyed it enough to leave a comment.

To conclude this section, I was in fandom again. While I had not seriously engaged with a fan community since around 2014, I was back with a vengeance. And I had discovered an important truth about what unlocked my ability to write more than I ever had before: community support.

Not simply the kudos and the views. It was the comments. The discourse. The discussion. To add and contribute my thoughts and ideas to a greater network of thoughts and ideas that fed off of one another.

Often I had seen people complain about there not being enough fanworks for particular media or characters. Now I knew the secret. The comments and the community created the works. If I commented on other people’s fics, the more likely they were to write more. I made a resolution I have tried to keep, to comment on any story that I legitimately enjoyed reading, even if I had no particularly intelligent thing to say about it.

Part 3: A Novel Idea

By late October, I had produced a considering oeuvre for my ship of choice and was enjoying slowing my pace as I planned a few future projects.

Remember, though, how I mentioned not having engaged with fandom for the past 5 years? Well, that didn’t mean I hadn’t been writing.

For the past 4 years, I have won NaNoWriMo and completed 4 novels of over 100k each in length. These projects have been massively fun and improved my confidence with executing stories at the scope that I desire.

And so in November 2020, I settled down to write another novel. November is always a sort of terrible time write a novel if you work in academia, but this year, I had more time than usual. I set out to write a comedy fantasy novel, something mostly lighthearted and full of hijinks in order to pretend away some of the quarantine blues (which by this point were well established in my psyche).

This year in particular, I was reminded that writing a novel is… harder than fanfic. That seems like a very obvious point, but I’d written novels before. Suddenly, though, I was realizing how much a novel requires you to set up the world and the characters, while fanfic can be pretty much all payoff all the time.

While the fanfic flowed in wild creative bursts of energy, the novel required diligence of another sort. I wrote 2,000 words every day for two months. It was a grind. Sometimes, it was a slog.

And sometimes it just wasn't good. The thing about writing your own novels is that the first draft is way more likely to be not good. You’re balancing a lot and it’s easy to let a few balls that you have in the air drop for a chapter or two, with no recourse but to go back and edit later.

I finished the novel by writing a final speedrun of 6k on new years eve, ending my 2020 with another project under my belt. No one has read it. Not even I have reread it.

I’m still glad that I wrote it. I’ll write another one next year. No one will read that one either.

Sometimes, we write for ourselves and no external validation is necessary.

Part 4: Where are they now?

January of 2021 is somehow now behind me, which is terrifying. I’m still writing. Mostly fanfic, although occasionally I go doodle around with some original ideas that are more conceptual sketches for the next novel.

As for the fanfic, I think I still have a few more good ideas left in me, but I will probably leave it behind before the year is out. That feels a little bittersweet, a sort of temporary burst of fun and friendship that I wonder if I’ll ever experience again.

Coming to the end of this reflection, I suppose I should make a summative statement about what it all means.

In the end, it might not mean a lot. There are some small takeaways.

It turns out that encouragement makes you write more! Who knew? Also, more free time makes you write more! Wow!!!!

The point that I think this reflection exercise has shown me, the point that I think matters more than any other, is that writing is a way to process my thoughts. Even if it is through the lens of ridiculous video game fanfic or novels about sad wizards, my writing is my way to make sense of my own mind.

And sharing that is special. If you share it with online strangers, with your family on Christmas Eve, with your close friend who has become even closer and dearer to you since she let you read her work, or just with your mom (the one personal legally required to read your damn novel if you want to share it). To share writing is to give someone a little peek at your beliefs about the world.

And right now? When we’re still isolated and bored and scared and in desperate need of distraction? Binge some TV, play Nintendo, read a book. Take in other people’s thoughts.

But put down your own somewhere as well. It’s a conversation.

And for once, it’s a conversation that doesn’t have to take place on fucking Zoom.

#writing #personal rambling #fanfiction

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years ago

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02/05/2021 DAB Transcript

Exodus 21:22-23:13, Matthew 24:1-28, Psalms 29:1-11, Proverbs 7:6-23

Today is the 5th day of February welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is awesome to be here with you today as we continue our journey forward through the Scriptures. And in the Old Testament we find ourselves in the book of Exodus and we’ll continue that journey. The children of Israel are around the mountain of God, Mount Sanai. God has descended upon the mountain to speak directly with the people. People are pretty freaked out about that. They’re asking Moses to be basically God's prophet, to speak on behalf of God. But God is giving instructions directly to the people and these are sort of the first instructions that are laying out what this new culture is gonna look like, what the chosen people of God are supposed to look like so that they can do what…well…so that they can do what they were chosen for, to be a kingdom of priests, to bless all the nations of the world, to point the way to God, to introduce God to a people who have forgotten. And, so, it's God's intention to establish a people under his rule giving them the ordinances and customs and rituals that they are to follow that will be an example to the world but will also be an example to everyone who participates - about who God is and who they are and where the whole things headed. And, so, God is giving some of these initial instructions and that's where we find ourselves today. We’re reading from the Voice Translation this week. Exodus chapter 21 verse 22 through 23 verse 13.

Commentary:

Alright. In the book of Matthew today Jesus begins a teaching about…about the end, the end of all things, the end times, which is like the ominous topic to talk about. And this is all in context of the fact that He's walking by the temple and He's predicting that it will all fall down. Like everybody's admiring it, but he's essentially saying it’s all gonna become rubble, which it did within about a 1/2 a century of Him saying it when the Romans completely, just completely demolished Jerusalem in 70 A.D. So, His disciples, later on they come to Him and they’re like, “so, tell us when this is gonna happen.” And that's what launches Jesus into this discourse about the end times. And, you know, like I was just mentioning the end times can be a terrifying topic, and yet every generation feels like they are living in them. And in truth every generation has been wrong up until this point unless it's all the end times. And, so, what we see from Jesus is not like this discourse intended to create mayhem and terror among those who were hearing Him. He’s like not trying to scare people to death, He’s just sharing. And he says, you know, there are some things that you will be able to observe about war about famine. You’ll be able to see these things. You’ll be able to see nations against nations. You’ll see this but that's not the end. That's the beginning of the end. Those are the contractions basically, the birth pangs, right? Those of the contractions. So, when you see this kind of stuff, understand that this is like a contraction and birth is not upon us yet, but it's assigned that birth is coming and this birth is that all things would be made new again. So, right there we should take hope. That’s where everything is headed, that all things would be made new again with. But some things have to happen and they’re the birth pangs and we can see them, and we should observe them so that we understand that we’re in the birthing process. Where it gets a little sideways, at least for me is trying to take that information and then create a prediction, take that information add a generous portion of Daniel, bring in, of course the book of Revelation, certainly bring in the book of Ezekiel, like all of the books that have prophetic utterances that seem to indicate future times and try to build this together into some kind of cohesive story that will give us a date. Well, there have been people who have had dates even in my lifetime. There are people who have…I mean I can remember people killing themselves to follow a star. I can…up in space like when the comet went by. I can remember people predicting a specific date and then everybody selling all their stuff and going on grand vacations because the end is coming, and Christ is returning. What we’re going to find as we continue this discourse is that Jesus is going to make a profound claim. He's going to claim that He doesn't even know the end date, the end of it all. Only the Father knows this Jesus will say. And, so, we can continue to kind of be fretting and anxious and have this underlying dread about things every time we see something that…that seems problematic in the world or we can understand this is a contraction but even the Savior isn't making predictions. That can be profoundly helpful.

Prayer:

Jesus, we invite You into that. We take that to heart. We’re listening. We want to have ears to hear. We’re listening. We want to have eyes to see. We want to look at what's really going on behind it all. We want to see like You see, we want to hear like You here. We want to be like You. We want to be Christ like. And, so, we have to follow in Your ways and believe what You're telling us. And You're telling us not to panic. Holy Spirit come because all kinds of things can turn us toward panic and then it can start spiraling and there’s nothing more dreadful than thinking about how the world may come to an end. And, so, come Holy Spirit into this, into this year where we are mending, into this year where the anxiety isn't doing any good anymore. It's really not helping us. It's just making us sick and we just look for all the things that can make us more and more restless when You are offering, shalom. You are offering peace. You are offering order. You are offering to allow us to see things as they really are. Help us to slow down and see we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here. And do indeed stay in touch with what's going on around here. Pray for each other. Stay connected. And, of course, yeah, you can find out all of this at dailyaudiobible.com but you can also find out all this in the Daily Audio Bible app. So, yeah, if…if you have the Daily Audio Bible app you already know that. If you don't then make sure that you do. It’s a free app. Download it from your app store and dive in and get connected.

Pray for one another at the Prayer Wall. You can find that in the Community section.

Check out the resources that are available in the Shop. You can find that in the shop.

Just stay connected. The journey of a year is a long one and a short one. Like it's weird because it's a year. And, so, a lot happens in a year. A lot more happens in a year that we don't remember then we do. But if we’re kind of journaling our way through we are telling the story and staying connected in community and then it also feels like it just flies by. It’s like look at where we are. We are in the second month of the year and doesn't feel like it was just New Year's. It just flies by. It’s just so strange how time is, I don't know, elastic kind of, in our memory anyway. But going through the journey together through the whole Bible any year is a remarkable experience. And, so, let's stay connected in any way that we can.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, well first of all, thank you profoundly. Thank you humbly. It’s a remarkable thing that we can take this journey together, and it’s a remarkable thing that we’ve been taking this journey together for all of these years because that would've never ever been the case had we not been in it together. And, so, thank you. If you are finding life in the Scriptures and moving through the Scriptures in community than thank you for being life-giving. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, which is the…it’s the button…the red one up at the top in the app, can't miss it, it's a hotline, it's red, looks like hotline button. So, you can press that no matter where you are in the world or there are a number of phone numbers that you can use depending on where you are. In the Americas 877-942-4253 is the number to call. If you are in the UK or Europe 44-20-3608-8078 is the number to dial. And if you are in Australia or that part of the world. 61-3-8820-5459 is the number to call.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Heavenly Father I come before You again this morning to thank You for today February 1st and to listen to the children pray this morning. Father God You said as we become like Your children, we will see Your face and we can enter Your Kingdom. Lord forgive us. This is the first day of February and some of us are struggling with illness, sickness, diseases, loneliness. Father God in the name of Jesus I pray to Lord for the DAB community. Thank You, O Lord for Your word that rings true. Help us to be faithful. Help me Lord to seek Your face and not for the things of this world. Lord I know that You have a better plan for all of us, a plan where we can be one accord, we can be community of believers who truly seek Your face. And as we pray for those who are listening, those who may be feeling weary, warn, and tired Father God I pray that You add strength and You had wisdom because You said if we lack anything we should come and ask and we're asking this morning for a faith can move mountains, the mustard seed faith Father God. In the name of Jesus cleanse our heart. All of those around the world Father God those are who knew, those who are seasoned we pray that the Holy Spirit will be with them today. Give them an unction of Your love so they can wake up and rise and continue to do Your work. Lord forgive us because we know that we've sinned and come short of Your glory. Thank You, Brian and the DAB family. In Jesus’ name cover us with Your blood in Jesus’ name. Amen.

I'm Jeannie from Georgia a first-time caller. I started listening on February 1st, 2019. So, this is my second year through with daily audio Bible. In 2018 August my middle daughters’ husband was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. He immediately underwent aggressive radiation and chemotherapy treatments but on December 16th, 2018 the Lord called him home to heaven and my daughter was left with seven children, four of them at home still to raise. I too lost my husband of 25 years when I was in my mid-40s. I often read through the Bible through the years, but I found that after my son in law died, I just couldn't bring myself to concentrate on reading through the Bible. And, so, I began the search online for something I can listen to and that's how I discovered Daily Audio Bible. Very shortly after I started listening in February 2019 I heard about the More conference for women. It seemed God was really urging me to go but I’d never done that…done something like that by myself before. My daughters were not able to accompany me and I just did it and I'm so grateful because it was truly life changing for me. The Lord helped me work through not only the grief of my son in law but grief of loss of my husband and so many other things that I had not really dealt with through the years as I should have. Anyway, I just wanted to share this. There's so much more but I wanted to tell you I appreciate all of you and I love the prayer time and the word. Thank you so much Hardin family. I am truly grateful.

Good morning DAB family this is Bridget from New York City and I want to share an encouraging word for those parents and everyone that is calling in for their prodigals. I wasn't raised in the church. I was raised…actually I hated God to be honest with you and never understood who God was or…or His purpose or anything about Him. And I remember being very young and just being around people that prayed for other people, being around, you know, revival camps. I'm from New York so there's a lot of, you know, a lot of stuff going on out here and I was around a lot of revival camps for some reason. I always ended up somewhere where there was church happening and I remember people distinctively just putting their hands on my head and praying for me and as I share with you my family wasn't, you know, I wasn't raised with the gospel. In fact, my mom was…I've seen her go through many things as a young child. So, I hated God honestly. I thought that my life was unnecessary, and I just want to encourage you guys. Don't give up praying because look at me now, I'm 46 years old, I love the Lord and the Lord spared my life. And I believe it was because of the prayers of the people. I believe that those strangers that believed for me, you know, prayed me into the Kingdom and now I'm sharing the word of God with my family and with everyone that I know. And I just want you to be encouraged. Pray, keep praying for your children, keep believing for them, don't give up. God has them. OK love you guys. God bless you.

Oh, my sweet 13-year-old Desiree my heart goes out to you for the situation that you're in. You are not responsible for your mother's drug addiction. That's a sin that only God can help her pull away from. There is no way that you hold any responsibility for that. And, you know, you’re a special, special person. First you have the courage to call in and cry out and secondly God must love you very specially because he plucked you out of that situation and put you in the lives of your aunt and uncle who’ve adopted you and that's a big step for them. They obviously love you very much. God has a special place in his heart for you. You're going to do some great things despite what your mother has done towards you. You loved my child. Thank you for sharing your story. This is Bob, Grandpa Bob from Michigan. Bye.

Hi family this is Anne from Arizona. I just want to encourage everyone that is part of this community, those on the Prayer Wall, those of us who call in to pray, those of us who are praying behind the scenes and may not necessarily be or have their voices be heard. I just want to encourage you, each and every one of you. Continue doing the work that you are doing. Continue praying. There's so much power in prayer and coming together as a community, you know, to pray for one another all over the world. It is amazing how the impact is on each and every one of our lives. I could testify of that myself knowing many times that people have prayed for me people who do not even know me. And I just want to say thank you because we see, and I know that God is breaking through in each and every one of our lives and I just want to continue encouraging each and every one of you. Do not lose hope, do not lose heart, continue doing the work that you are doing. Continue praying, continue seeking the Lord on behalf of others. It is such a blessing to pray for others and then to hear the report of what God is doing. It is so amazing. Family I love you and continue doing what you are doing. And I thank you all. Amen. And have a great day evening or morning. Bye now.

Hi this is Karen from Ontario on the Saint Lawrence River in the Thousand Islands. And first of all, I'm a newcomer. I've just been listening in the latter part of November and I am so thrilled to be here. I listen to your prayers. I pray for you. I want to thank Brian in his family for this wonderful, wonderful app and I'm sure you've come over many, many hurdles to just get on the air and stay on the air. I want to speak to Donna in California and Amy and Canada. I have so been where you were through the death of my former husband and it's not easy and you just need to hold still, just wait, just be patient. God has this He knows what you want He knows what you need, and He will take care of you. Just as He did today in the desert with the Israelites, He took care of me. He has taken care of me. He's brought me back from a very very big illness before my husband died and then He passed away and was upset that I…that I survived because then He just passed away. But once I got through all of that and opened my heart and said, “OK God you're not done with me yet, so we'll do it your way.” and I'm so thankful. Blessings to everyone. Thank you. Goodbye.

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morethanaprincess-a · 4 years ago

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@despairfiles said: 💕 for Emiya~

Shipping Interest Check (Accepting!)

Have we discussed shipping before?: yes || no || nearly every day on discord among pet tax, life, writing, wine sodas, politics, and dropping memes and images of our muses

My interest level overall: I’ve wanted this for so long || can’t wait || I think it’ll be fun || kinda feeling it || maybe with a lot of plotting || I need to think about it || not interested, sorry || Sonia may explode if she has to keep her feels to herself any longer

How we should do this: jump right in || slow burn || pre-established || build up to it in plenty of threads because these two are idiots your honor || anything goes

Dynamics I want to try out with our ship: friends to lovers || rivals to lovers || enemies to lovers || mutual pining || battle couple || childhood friends || high school sweethearts || star crossed lovers || long time lovers || old married couple || newlyweds || sickeningly sweet couple (and not just the treats coming out of the kitchen) || secret lovers || fake dating/marriage || best friends hiding their feelings || arranged marriage || soulmates || other

I actually needed a small break before responding to this interest check. Buckle up, dash. You’re in for a ride.

***If you do NOT want spoilers for Danganronpa, Super Danganronpa 2, or the Danganronpa 3 anime, stop reading here.***

It started with meeting the right person at entirely the wrong time. Shirou Emiya, beginning to move past the Holy Grail War, met a strange girl on the street who asked about tacos. Yes, tacos.

That’s how Sonia Nevermind met her friend, Shirou Emiya. Shirou-san was kind and generous, with magic powers! Or rather, magecraft. Sonia had the best time learning about that and meeting Shirou’s closest friends and found family. And eating his cooking, which she never refused. She even ate the plum onigiri (once. To be polite. She did not enjoy the experience). But he was still finding his place in the world post-war and Sonia was still very much enamored with Gundham Tanaka.

Then the world fell apart. Or rather, plunged into Despair as Sonia, alongside her classmates, followed their leader Junko Enoshima to destroy everything hopeful and good on Earth. So many perished, by their own hands or by the Remnants of Despair, and only until the Future Foundation managed to take control of the situation did the former members of Class 77-B remember who they were.

Partly, anyway.

Because while Sonia could remember her friends, her hobbies, her family and home, and unfortunately all of the atrocities she’d caused, she couldn’t remember Shirou Emiya. The Neo World Program wasn’t perfect and some parts of her life, as far as those around her could discern, were completely removed from her memory.

It also didn’t help that while Sonia was both causing devastation and recuperating, Emiya’s heroic nature led him to fighting against Junko and her followers. To the point that, after Sonia’s recovery and return to Novoselic, he was sure she was still one of them. So he tried to kill her.

He failed. And Emiya doesn’t miss his targets if it’s his intention to kill.

That’s how it started, anyway. Sonia met the man known as Emiya while recovering from the gunshot wound to her shoulder, the one he gave her. And no one knows the identity of her assailant.

Still, it made sense then that in contract with the Future Foundation, he agreed to look after Novoselic’s restored Queen: his former friend who, unfortunately, has no idea who he is save for his bitterness, his snark, his agility and sharp reflexes, and the fact he can create a gourmet meal in the matter of minutes out of nothing. Herbed eggs on toast = gourmet to someone hungry, who can’t cook, and managed to fuck up toast.

But out of necessity, they’re forced to spend time with each other consistently. They talk, as they’ve got no one else to really speak to. Sonia begins to see his overarching need to protect others from harm and Emiya, ever so slowly, sees bits of the old Sonia he remembers returning.

They face, or will face, plenty of problems to solve and troubles to endure: from illegal magecraft, to a newly-formed parliament who wants little to do with the new constitutional monarchy, to Emiya’s friends and allies being drawn to Novoselic. And we can’t forget ancient curses and a growing pressure for the Queen to marry, settle down, and conceive an heir. It’s incredible that these two still have time to linger in the kitchen for cooking lessons or spend a night in the recreational room with Sonia’s new cat, Stitch, watching movies she remembers various scenes from but not the whole plot.

But overall, Sonia’s aware of two things: One, Emiya could never, and would never, regard her as fondly as she does him. She helped destroy the world: in her mind, she’s still something of a monster even if she’s not causing rampant despair. Emiya’s too heroic, too noble (irony!), and too good to ever see her or want her as anything more than a friend.

And two, she wants to 1. Taste his cooking, 2. Tell him how adored and how special he is to her and that every time he’s delayed coming back to the Castle when he’s out on a mission she worries, and 3. Climb him like a tree, all at the same time.

I’ve said over here that Sonia’s most important quality that she looks for in others is heart. And Emiya’s is one of the most beautiful, most generous, most kind she’s ever met. She’s witnessed him giving his all, everything he has, to help others in need without any question.

It also helps that said heart is contained in the 97 cm thicc chest he’s got. Chest Discourse is a powerful thing.

It’s taking every bit of Sonia’s resolve not to pin him against the wall and show him just how much she’s in love with him. She can’t admit it aloud, but it’s the whole reason why she both wants to choose an arranged marriage quickly as well as why, after he’s helped her escape her pressures for a little while and danced with her when he wasn’t supposed to at the first Royal Ball post-Despair, she’s hesitating on making a choice. She doesn’t want to admit that she ultimately can’t choose any of the prospects presented to her: not when she’s in love with him, and has been for so long. Something she has to realize only when he’s gravely injured and she’s remained by his side all night.

Their mutual friends would very much like to know when these two will figure it out. Because it’s exhausting watching them pretend that they either don’t like each other, or assume the other detests them.

#more-than-a-princess answered #(Shipping Interest Check)#despairfiles #(I accidentally wrote a novel about our ship)#(No regrets)#(Their verse is so powerful)#(THEY are powerful)#(The day isn't complete if we have not yelled about them yet)

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novarose24 · 4 years ago

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Writings from Offline {Ep.3}

Advertisement Review

The Saravana Stores’ advertisement for the Diwali Season, was the most recent version of ads that followed the long tradition of hilarious ads from the store. It has come up with unoriginal but creative ideas to engage with the common folk. The advertisement makes the viewer subconsciously indulge in its proposition. From the actor, who is the owner himself, to the song and the setting used, everything is carefully constructed to please the audience; explicitly and implicitly making them buy into the idea that they are selling. Which is why it’s logic and knowledge that has gone into the making of the ad should be defended; its irrelevance, not so much.

The irrelevance would be the fact that the ad did very little, in my opinion, to actively endorse the product that it was selling. The tonal balance was off. The plot, that didn’t exactly exist, seemed to suggest the episode in the life of a glorious leader; the central character surrounded by people of all ages who rejoice him, much like Diwali, to which he almost becomes a metaphor to.

There are girls, a sign of validation in the patriarchal society, who are always cast in close proximity to the supposed hero. Towards the end the hero sports a moustache too, an obvious sign of success, masculinity and dominance, and the whole family comes together to celebrate him. This cliché de facto trope of Indian commercial cinema now becomes a familiar subject that the audience can latch on to.

Another familiar strand in woven into the narrative with the upbeat jingle which seems to be inspired by a millennial Tamil song. With easy diction and emphasis on “colour”, “family” and “home”, it even slightly hints on the glory of working hard and tries to moralize the viewers with the motivational message. The mixing of the Tamil and English serves the purpose of portraying modernity and humor eventually becoming pop culture themselves.

As Yamuna Kachri elucidates in her article, the mixing of the native and the foreign language exoticizes the language itself and adds light heartedness to the content.

“…the mixed lyrics that illustrate the playfulness accompanying the convergence of multilingual ingredients.”

She also says that this trend is popular among the middle class and upper-class families, a wide group to whom this ad in study is targeted to too.

“…amuse the audience and exploit for this purpose the meanings that the intersection of multiple languages of India make possible.”

” … portray upper-middleclass or upper-class families, the use of English in dialogs and songs has increased.”

The music, the happy drum beat, that accompanies the song sets the mood for celebration. The energy of the music is captured by the camera too. The events rapidly succeed each other and the cuts are quick; a technique used to render energy and excitement. This strategy keeps the audience engaged and focused, it doesn’t bore them out.

The engagement is strengthened with the excitement and the joy which are clearly observable in the choice of colour. The dresses are bright to the point of being gaudy and the background is a romantic French café. The advertisement now becomes more engaging to the audience, who closely associate the idea of foreign to progress and the idea of an alluring land that is painted in movie songs. The clothing of the models and dancers, in dresses resembling that of an airhostess and sailors and the frequent costume changes circuitously advocate the same idea, thus drawing on the banal framework of songs.

The foreign elements represented are countered by the inclusion of popular culture propagated by Kollywood films. The towel flipping scene is a characteristic feature of actor Rajinikanth, a pop culture phenomenon, that makes the ad relatable. The moustache is also used for a similar purpose because of its coupling with power, tradition and success. By doing this the ad rings intertextuality and according to the article titled, “What are television advertisements really trying to tell us? A postmodern perspective”, the postmodern age ads sell intertextuality to sell their products. By connecting the emotions of a viewer to the ad, the marketers are able to manipulate the consumers to change their needs to buying the product.

“When a text is read, consciously or unconsciously readers place it in wider frames of reference of language and knowledge, cross-fertilizing a particular reading with other discourses drawn from their own socially, culturally and historically situated experiences.”

The representations that connect with pop culture help the viewer make connections to their own experiences and thus makes the goal of the advertisement approachable to the reader.

“…meaning is activated by the participation of its audience, whose interpretations reflect their own experiences, social situation and concerns.”

By honoring the pop culture that the target audience relate with, the advertisement sells well among the people because it touches the same sentiments.

The advertisement, being pastiche, therefore tries to draw the audience towards it - the object clearly, the relationship that the company desires with the audience. Being well established for a long while now, the company has little responsibility to inform the customers. Its aim is to relate to the audience and the present generation. By combing intertextuality and humor, it elevates the best things about the culture that existed before it. It glorifies the pop culture prevalent and draws inspiration from it to support itself. The use of Rajini’s style would be welcome among the audience. The use of a Tanglish (Tamil and English) song would be relatable to the youth who know both the languages and able to appreciate the mixing.

This is where we get to the explanation for the bad casting, bad acting and bad lip syncing. While most ads strive to achieve perfection, this ad, contrarily, trades off quality for connection. The idea, as I understand is that, the owner has stepped down from his position of wealth and fame to interact with his customers. Though people laugh at the ad and make troll videos and memes on him, they are unconsciously buying into the idea of entertainment that he sells. Humor in advertisements serves a very important purpose according to the article “Impact of humorous advertisements on customers’ behavior”

“The reason why humor has been widely used in advertising is due to its power of create liking towards the advertisement by from the consumer.”

This directs us to the argument of why this ad is bad. An advertisement is expected to sell the product and give customers information on the products. These is a display of the variety of dresses and jewelry available but the ad doesn’t seem to draw attention to the product or it’s aspects. The variety of dresses worn by the dancers and the models can be considered to be the display of the merchandise but there is no mention of price or features of the products. No sales or discounts are intimated. The ad does almost nothing for its primary task at hand. It seems its sole purpose is to advertise the owner and to serve his recognition among the public.

This exclusive focus on the ‘hero’ diverts the audience from the product and leads it down another lane. The ad becomes a phenomenon and ‘trends’ in social media. It becomes popular using the novelty factor. If this is what the team worked on, then they seem to have done a good job. But as an ad it has not reached any mark. Yet in some way, by having an unusual mixture of humor, intertextuality, cast and music in a way that no one has ever attempted, the ad has now become a pop culture phenomenon and truly won’t be forgotten.

References:

1. Stella Proctor, Ioanna Papasolomou-Doukakis, Tony Proctor; What are television advertisements really trying to tell us? A postmodern perspective; Journal of Consumer Behaviour Vol. 1, 3, 246-255; 16th July, 2001

2. Yamuna Kachru; Mixers lyricing in Hinglish: blending and fusion in Indian pop culture; World Englishes, Vol. 25, No. 2, pp. 223–233; 2006

3. Dharmesh Motwani, Khushbu Agarwal; Impact of humorous advertisements on customers’ behaviour; International Journal of Advanced Research in Management and Social Sciences; October 2013

#Advertisement #Tamil #Writing #Offline #Pop culture #Consumerism #Capitalism #Assignment #College

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septembersung · 5 years ago

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Based on the discourse crossing my dash, it looks to me like what a lot of people are missing the in the censorship argument are three important things: 1) agreed-upon definitions of the words they’re using (censorship, free speech, right) 2) social context and 3) Catholic doctrine.

Let’s take these issues one at a time.

Would censorship work as public policy on a mass scale today in America? No. Should it? You can argue both yes and no, depending on which perspective you’re answering the question from: moral or political.

Here’s one approach to the “yes” answer: It’s about morality, which, and I’m addressing my fellow believers here, we know to objective, not relative or subjective, and knowable by reason even by persons without faith, for the natural law is written on the heart of man. Look at it this way: If you, the reader of this post, presumably a Catholic or at least some kind of religious conservative if you’re reading my blog, think that schools and media should have decency standards to protect the innocent, especially children, or that porn should be illegal, or that the gender ideology should be excluded from classrooms, or that you the parent should have the right to decide what educational materials and media your children consume and when, then you are in favor of a kind of censorship.

Would such bans, say on porn or certain kinds of material in media in the name of public decency, be a kind of censorship that violates the American right to free speech? In the Constitution, “free speech” was written to mean individuals are to be protected from governmental reprisal when they criticize or challenge the government. It was a political protection for political topics for a people whose politics had not become morality debates and who shares a common morality. Similarly, freedom of the press is supposed to mean the press is not a propaganda arm of the government. Nowhere is any individual granted a Constitutionally guaranteed right to fling whatever filth they want on the public. And certainly not when the public cannot agree on what constitutes “filth.”

All of that remains true and we can see that censorship of any sort, even common sense moral safeguards like a ban on pornography, are not going to fly or be workable in a society like today’s America, which is where we get to the “no” answer. America is secular, which means default atheistic, and, especially today, is radically pluralistic, which means there is exactly nothing that all or even a majority of its citizens hold in common, neither in culture, morals, political ideals, or religion. We recognize that a secular - let’s be absolutely clear what we mean - an atheistic government, particularly a supposedly pluralistic-population-representative one owing its legitimacy to “the people,” does not have the authority or the ability to create and enforce uniform standards of legal morality. Laws that deal with morality, whether it be public decency or murder, are borne out of the social mores and religious convictions of its people, and taken as a unified citizenry, Americans have none.

But here’s the kicker for us Catholics. We are obligated to believe that Jesus Christ is the true King and rightful master of every soul, whether that soul believes in Him or not, and the rightful supreme ruler of every nation, whether that nation believes in Him or not. We celebrate this every year on the feast of the Kingship of Our Lord Jesus Christ. In the traditional Roman celebration of this feast, the emphasis is on His social kingship. In the Novus Ordo, it’s on His spiritual kingship. The emphases are different but they are both true and both present in each.

This is where “error has no rights” comes from. Now we’re in the realm of theology and doctrine, not political philosophy. Is there any creature who has the “right” to defy the King of the Universe? Catholic teaching clearly and consistently has always taught: no. We have the ability to do it, because we are rational free beings. If we reject God, He will honor that choice and we will spend eternity without Him, in hell. But we do not have a “right” to do it. “Freedom” in Catholic teaching has always meant freedom for excellence, not “license to do anything you want,” because sin and error are not freedom, but slavery - sin - the “wages” of which is “death,” as St. Paul says. We do not have a “right” to sin. (To address the inevitable objection: Does this mean we ought to force conversions? No. Forced conversions are sinful and illegitimate, as the Church has always taught, and I wrote about elsewhere.)

This truth, about the universality of Christ’s kingship and the duty all souls owe to him, does have an application in political philosophy. What binds on individuals binds especially so on leaders of individuals, including the state. Numerous popes (among other sources) have written extensively on the duty of states to support the genuine and objective best welfare of their people. The popes have again and again decried the “godless state” as an offense against God and a serious problem that will lead societies into terrible trouble and souls into hell - precisely because the godless state is in a state of rebellion against God and against its duties to its people.

Now consider much of the history of nations, before nations became secular - that is, atheist. Even after the unity of Christendom was broken by the splitting of Protestants from the Church, for some time Europe had culturally cohesive states with a unified moral code. They understood that some things, in morality and in philosophy, are wrong. They are sins, and as sins, are dangerous to the salvation of souls and to the commonweal. Souls and society stand or fall together. This understanding of the importance of protecting the innocent, fulfilling the virtue of religion (giving to God what is His due), and serving the objective best interests of the people, is how you arrive at a conclusion like, “no one has a right to disseminate atheistic literature.”

The Catholic Church has always upheld censorship as a just power of legitimate authority, particularly for the Church herself (after all, she kept a famous Index of banned books for a very long time,) and in some measure by the secular state as well. Note the distinction between the Church’s use and the state’s use. They are distinct, but historically, have overlapped; sometimes the state is the proper authority to enforce something, and sometimes the Church.

The example of the family is instructive; it’s on a scale we more easily comprehend. If you are a good father or mother, do you allow people you think wrong and dangerous to come into your home and start teaching your children their wrong and dangerous view of the world and terrible habits? Of course not. The younger and more innocent, and therefore the more vulnerable, your children are, the more important this is. My oldest is only just approaching the age of reason, so I say this with vehement personal conviction. Grossly undervaluing the vital necessity of protecting the innocent (of all ages) is a major mistake being made by an awful lot of people, and we can look around our society and see the consequences of that.

Now pay attention, because, even if you’ve followed this far, this is the point where a lot is lost in translation on this topic. Analogies only go so far, obviously, so let’s take it a little further:

Children grow up. Good parents are actively involved in what their children are learning and are helping them absorb information in a healthy and age-appropriately nuanced way. This includes, at the right time, introducing them to error. I think what most blows me away about the discourse I’ve seen is how people are equating “error has no rights” with “enforce totalitarian groupthink where no one can ever ask questions.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Asking questions, challenging the truth in your own mind, coming to grips with it, is essential for forming mature thinkers and especially mature believers. This was as true in Christendom, in a unified, Catholic society where censorship could be reasonably understood and employed, as it is in our pluralistic, atheistic society. The difference is we no longer have the safeguards of a moral and just society - we have to reinvent the wheel in our own families, and try to create that safe and stable environment in which our children can be formed in virtue and grow in truth and holiness.

Okay, so much for children and the family as an analogy. But we’re grownups, right, and and society as we’re discussing it is made up of grownups, who are supposed to do this truth-pursuing, virtue-growing, salvation-striving thing for themselves, right, on our own, and we don’t need a nanny-government hanging over our shoulder! Well - wrong and right. From the Church’s point of view, we are all children, and we do need that guidance as grownups. Not from a nanny-state, certainly not in today’s context where there’s no organization less authorized or qualified, but from the Church, our holy Mother. Which is why things like Index of prohibited books existed. To protect the faith and the innocence of ordinary people who do not have the time or the expertise or the sheer stamina to wade through all the absolute garbage and damaging stuff out there to “figure it out” for ourselves.

Let’s be clear. Such a list didn’t stop people who wanted to from reading those books. To be even clearer, having a unified Catholic culture did not stop people from being unbelievers, from asking questions, from speaking and writing their views and having debates. The famed medieval disputatio was not all (or, ever,) “how many angels can dance on the head of a pin,” nor were debates and wrestling with faith and the big questions of life just for monk-academics. What we’re talking about is a culture that, as a whole, understood and agreed upon the most important foundational truths of the world, and had safeguards in place to preserve society from those forces which would tear it apart. I’m asking you to seriously think about that, as a Christian, who believes that getting souls to heaven is the most important thing there is. Are you really willing to argue that such a view of a healthy society is not a good thing? (I didn’t say “think it’s perfect” or “think it’s without flaws”, but - do you really think it’s not a good thing?)

Remember I am writing to you, my fellow Christians, who, I hope believe with me that salvation is the single most important goal. I didn’t write all this out to be like “yeah man, let’s burn all the Dawkins books and throw all the atheists in jail and get Congress to pass another amendment promising fines for non-Christians.” I just spent the last hour or so of my life writing this out to hopefully help you see that what this discourse is dancing around - with a lot of really unpleasant to watch flying-off-the-handle all around - are some extremely serious and already well-defined issues in Catholic thought, and actual doctrine that’s being run roughshod over. When it comes to the faith and philosophy, just because it shows up as an argument on tumblr doesn’t mean we can afford to indulge a knee-jerk reaction.

tl;dr: “Censorship” is not a dirty word. It does not mean advocating for thought control and no debate or asking questions about anything ever. It does not mean punishing people who are wrong. It is, instead, a practice defended and adopted the Church when exercised by legitimate authority in the service of the objective truth, the rights of God, and the best interest of souls and society.

I really would like to believe that most of the Christian community on tumblr is capable of thinking on issues like this with a little bit of caution and nuance. When we talk about issues that touch on everything from dogma to political philosophy to Church-approved ways to help safeguard the salvation of souls, we could all use a little more education on the topics involved (myself included!) - and a little more level-headedness.

#my catholic thoughts

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onegirllis · 5 years ago

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Since Life is Strange 2 is finally fully released, I let myself to write a probably not-so-short review of the complete season. The momentum for such a summary is already gone I presume but it took me a moment to finally digest and find the proper words to describe what I think and feel about this production. Following the game from the start, I patiently waited to look at the story as a whole, hoping to find an explanation for tons of burning questions and satisfying outcomes to my choices and decisions. Unfortunately, most of those didn’t happen, therefore I present you with a piece that is not very favorable towards the newest Dontnod production, harsh in places but honest. Please, do not read if you really enjoyed the story of the two brothers and find it meaningful and important, not burdened with any fallacy. Life is way too short to read reviews that just leave you frustrated.

Remember the scene in Life is Strange season one (I still hate the fact that I have to separate different instances of the franchise calling them seasons), when Max summoned by an enormous plasma TV in Victoria’s room fantasizes about watching “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within” on it? “I like this movie, I don’t care what everybody says,” getting protective about her preferences, the little freckle leaves the room soon after, never gifting us with any explanation as to why she indeed values this animation so much or why it was an important statement. It was never brought back again, it will never matter, becoming simply a meme material or a trigger for snarky comments from Twitch streamers and YouTubers. I watched the said movie a long time ago, recalling only two things about it: the breathtaking animation of hair at the beginning and the fact that the main male character looked like Ben Affleck. The rest of the story fell into obscurity before the end credits hit the screen. I reached for this title only because I was interested in anything video games related, and the name of the popular franchise was more than enough.

The same thing goes for Life is Strange 2.

Just like the mentioned FF: The Spirits Within, the second instance of the beloved series is more of an animation than an interactive experience. Recently, plenty of video games, overwhelmed by finally reachable technology of smooth mocaps, facial expressions, hyper-realistic locations, and scanned people as characters, turned into an alley dedicated to B-class movies. From adventures by David Cage to Death Stranding, video games started to flip their working template, replacing the actual action with long animations, not the other way around. With scattered gameplay, sometimes forced as if the developers reminded themselves at the last minute that this product is supposed to be interactive, they raise an eyebrow at best, and boil your blood with the lack of creativity at its worst. Life Is Strange 2 follows this trend with astonishing enthusiasm and to the core. Even regarding this particular genre that’s supposed to focus on narrative, it barely stands as a walking simulator becoming a hardly watchable TV series — a road trip story where walking is limited.

Well, shit.

The gameplay in Life is Strange 2 is nonexistent. To be frank, riveting action-packed sequences were never a trademark of the series, but a blatant lack of any didn’t make this experience any better. With the first one, the rewind power allowed the player to actually be part of the narrative. The second, where Sean just serves as a witness to his brother’s actions, plays more like a full motion picture. An enormous amount of un-skippable cut-scenes change LIS2 into a tedious, dragging journey straight from the worst selection of buy 1 get 3 free Z-class movies. The music and the mastery in creating an atmosphere that rose Dontnod to international fame due to widespread acclaim can’t save those sequences either. It almost feels like their own creation so enchanted the development team that they ignored all the red flags and clumsy solutions to immerse in the world themselves, treating the actual player as a lesser evil, throwing them a bone just to claim it is a video game format. To no surprise, most of the items the player interacts with don’t matter at all and don’t serve any purpose either to foreshadow an upcoming outcome, present exposition to the world, or be in any way helpful.

The lack of superpower is not an issue here though. Before the Storm met the expectations with way more grace, proving that a story doesn’t need a lot of strange in life to grip and hold its audience for hours. Watching a superhero growing up is an interesting premise, but a hell of a challenge to execute and execute well. Some stories like “Little Man Tate” translate to a brilliant film, but don’t necessarily work as games, after the planning stage or first Game Design Document. The references regarding the first game also remain scattered and uneven, tossed on the pile with a heap of faith that devoted fans would notice, but without a purpose in mind.

Even if I sound harsh, I do believe that Dontnod wanted to deliver the best story possible, but Life is Strange 2 feels even too big to absorb or fill with details. Captain Spirit, not necessarily my cup of tea either, was in my opinion way more coherent, as the creative team felt more comfortable with such a small scope of a product. Everything falls into place after careful exploration, makes more sense with every minute. The mystery about the mother, an alumnus of Blackwell Academy, and an admirer of Jefferson’s work is a solid premise that didn’t raise expectations up the roof nor overpromise. The mystery of yet another mother, this time Life is Strange 2, played for over 3 and a half episodes, falls flat in comparison and ends in the disappointing question “that’s it?”

No, that’s not it. There’s more to it.

Life is Strange 1 was mocked as Tumblr: The Game, while the second instance could easily pass as Twitter: The Animated Series. The writers didn’t challenge themselves or the audience to answer the question of why certain people voted for Donald Trump, or why they would do it yet again. The only reason presented in the story is quite simplistic and obvious – because they are evil, deplorable people, not worth listening to. They are the worst. We are better. Issues of being harangued by foreigners about domestic policies and troubles of your own country are a brewing can of worms I wouldn’t like to touch at the moment. Still, this particular stance, which serves as painful generalization that every single republican voter in the US is foul, can be forged only by someone who either lives in a bubble or doesn’t live here at all. Simply because we all have parents, grandparents, relatives, friends, or co-workers who decided to elect the actual prescient to power. Some of them are racists, disgusting, and horrible personas, and some just belong to the scared of change, confused and manipulated crowd that don’t accept the fast-paced transformation nor the need for a revolution. We coexist together, arguing and fighting, especially during holiday breaks, but even if it costs me a headache, I wouldn’t call them evil. Millions of people voted for Trump, but only a few wouldn’t spit on a swastika if confronted with the Nazi banner.

It’s even more painful when you understand what kind of message was sewed into the stitches of a shattered story. There was no ill will, or at least I don’t think so, but an honest, genuine need to express the concern about modern America. Unfortunately, when executed, this concern changed into another yell or discourse by the family table during an argument with your racist uncle. An open discussion in a game community that unifies both left and right supporters equally by their love for this form of entertainment would be appreciated by many, just like after playing LIS1, a handful of people changed their views on LGBT issues.

Instead of a lesson that had to be experienced, we got a lecture about morality and tolerance, contradicting itself constantly and nonchalantly following the well-known tropes NOT in a sarcastic and admirable way known from Saturday Night Live, but in a lazy and sometimes even clumsy substitute of a dramatic format. The political landscape painted in LIS2 is caricatural, unforgiving, harsh like a deserted wasteland with a few peaceful oases to stop at, but shies over its own existence, not willing to thoroughly discuss the dreadful weather. Guess what? The sand won’t change into greener pastures only because you close your eyes, putting your imagination to work. Donald Trump might not be re-elected for a second term, but his supporters will stay in place, even more conflicted by the other side. It’s a brave decision to deliver such a punitive story but such a cowardice to break its pillars, hoping that the general public wouldn’t notice or get distracted when things get too heated up.

The lack of subtlety forced scene by scene is even more polarizing. There is no peaceful dialogue with the other side as if it couldn’t exist in this world. There is no change of heart or a path to do so. Sometimes it feels like the only message that LIS2 writers wanted to provide was to find your own, peaceful and liberal hermitage, either among hipsters in the Redwood forest, driving a car that your ‘family with money but no soul’ had bought you or move to a trailer park filled with artistic souls in Nowhere, Arizona. Any contact with the outside world can hurt you and your feelings. Drop off the grid or die. The end.

No discussion.

The efforts of trying to understand the motivation behind even the most dreadful character of the first game, got lost in preparation for the second. LIS2 builds a higher wall between two political sides, than any other game released after Trump became the president of the United States and desperately wants to keep it erected, ignoring the crumbling foundations of such. A proverbial river you shall not cross nor build bridges over since the only outcome would end up in death, destruction, or you and your young brother getting hurt.

I’m familiar with the discussion about LIS2, especially with a shouting match that if you do not like this instance, you are therefore a racist pig, a disgusting person without a soul, conscience, or working brain that doesn’t understand the situation and never will. On the contrary. In my humble opinion, we deserve a better discussion, better stories, better representation, not sticking to whatever is presented because it’s brave enough or was never approached before. I disagree with the stance that a Latino, bisexual main character is enough to close your eyes, omitting all problems that this title tries to shun, riding its high horse. No. Those topics are way too crucial to just walk past, setting for less with your head down, thanking for the game industry to take notice. You the player deserve better, even if you don’t struggle with specific issues on a daily basis. And after playing LIS2, you may feel so good about yourself, stating that an effort was made but it it wasn’t made enough.

I expected more. I wanted Dontnod to do more, and frankly, I feel silly putting so much faith in them and supporting their efforts. Armed with resources provided by Square Enix, I’m sure they are aware of the fact that most of their audience is quite young and wouldn’t mind a lesson or message about what to do amidst troubled times. Well, Dontnod doesn’t have any but warns you that voicing your opinion or being different may end up in disaster. Outraged, they just yell at the news, angry about what our reality has changed into, but nothing comes out of it. It’s all right, though. Our parents do the same thing. We started to do the same thing, but instead of complaining to family members, we have Twitter.

While Life is Strange 2 tries really hard to come across as a realistic and raw portrait of the US at the end of the decade, they didn’t have enough courage to show realistic obstacles two runaways would be faced with. The brothers do meet a handful of bigots and racists, but the rest of the fellow travelers help them beyond understanding or hidden agenda. Sean and Daniel never really struggle to find a place to stay or a warm meal, usually complaining on or off the screen just before the game mercifully provides them with a solution. There’s no trap they can fall into, no ambiguous characters that promise one thing and then demand something in return. It’s very honorable for Brody to pay for a place to stay, but if an adult man gave young kids a key to a motel room, I would consider a way more sinister outcome. It’s not even about Brody himself, since good people exist, just like the racist ones, but the boys not even once are put in a realistic, scary situation created by a supposed ally. If somebody is helpful, this person is always decent, offering them a job, a ride, some food or money. The bad people wear red hats and yell racist slurs. America by Dontnod is simple to navigate but raw and painful when not necessary and fairy-tale-like when it could teach an actual lesson. Running away from home is not so hazardous because of Trump supporters but because you can end up dead in a ravine, being robbed and raped. It’s not the first and surely not the last time when the developers feared to touch any topic of sexual abuse with a ten-foot pole, but then the journey plays more like a vacation than a desperate escape. Sean gets beaten-up a few times, loses his eye due to a brawl, but it doesn’t affect him at all in the long run. When Daniel finally gets kidnapped, it’s not an Epstein-like circle, dealing with human trafficking, but a religious cult that worships him. The first option, even if it feels like a stretch, is unfortunately way more realistic than the latter.

Preaching to the choir is not the biggest sin this game commits though. That brings me to the most discussed theme of the production, which is education.

With all due respect to the developers, writers, and designers, Life is Strange 2 in this aspect falls flat as a discovery of a Sunday father, who is responsible for taking his kid to the zoo and struggles to find any common ground with his offspring, either trying to crack jokes about famous pop-culture phenomena or talk about food discussing their next favorite meal. The said father is trying his best though, perfectly aware that it’s his only chance to teach his son a thing or two, but doesn’t know exactly where to start, torn apart between buying more ice cream and throwing a fit about a stain on the carpet. The father doesn’t even like kids that much and can’t translate his lessons into an engaging play that would be memorized forever, rolling his eyes and counting the days to his kid’s graduation so they could share a beer or two and talk about adult things. Now, any effort to explain how the world works seems to be in vain, therefore a waste of his precious time. Leaving the emotional approach aside, the father doesn’t have to cuddle with his kid when he’s scared, bullied, traumatized or asks millions of questions about the future or present, because the full-time mother is waiting at home willing to replace him in this duty. The mother, knowing that her ex-partner sucks big time at talking about feelings, will be the one who will hold the kid, patiently explaining that the boogieman does not exist, playing pirates, or stay late at night to distract his sorrows. The kid will never discuss his fears with his dad though, trying so hard to impress his male parent. He will never know, and it’s fine. The mother is going to do the job while he can deliver a once a week entertainment along with the lines of ultimate wisdom that most likely will be forgotten anyway.

This is not raising a kid, it’s nursing them like a fragile plant in a flowerpot, focusing on water, sun, and fertilizer, but discarding the emotional background, hoping that somebody else would take care of such issues if things go south.

Sean can’t raise his brother well, simply because he is immature and will stay immature for the rest of the game. There is no moment when he truly goes through a transformation changing from a boy to a man, a fully grown-up adult who takes responsibility for his actions and makes sacrifices for the sake of the greater good. No, surrendering in a fight in the church doesn’t serve as one, neither does the first sexual experience. He doesn’t wonder even once if the hastily constructed plan is benefiting Daniel, forcing it to the last minutes of the game, taking the separation as the worst thing that could happen. There’s no spark of a tragedy like in “The Road” when a father gives up his son to strangers for the sake of saving him. Sean doesn’t care, presenting no character development across the board, merely pushing forward. If there are doubts, they disappear in the blink of an eye when the next cut-scene takes place.

I understand that such a young lad as Sean wouldn’t know how to raise a kid, especially if having no model to rely on. However, a part of growing pains is developing the awareness that we know way less than we assumed. That said, Sean Diaz is always assuming he is right, not asking for advice regarding Daniel even once. Apparently, it’s not something that he’s interested in or ever will be. If Life is Strange 2 wants to pass as a coming of age story, it falls on its face before it even starts.

Moreover, locked in the auto-driven plot, Sean cannot grow up and gain a new perspective; otherwise, the story wouldn’t reach its big, explosion-packed finale of crossing the border. His desperate efforts of influencing his brother usually converge to order him around, feed him with half-truths or simply leave him in the dark when convenient. I didn’t see any difference or change in Sean’s approach from episode one when he scolded his brother, annoyed for his party plans being interrupted, and in episode three, when he reacts similarly, for the sake of spending time alone with the chosen love interest. There’s no deep thought, no wonder about his own wrongdoings expressed to his brother, no faults admitted, no fallacies explained, with one life-threating situation after another. From an illegal weed growing farm, to destroying police stations, Sean just follows the road, paved by the writers, oblivious to the harm done to his younger sibling, as if Daniel simply forgets the morally gray choices, growing his moral spine entirely on performing chores. Washing the dishes and peeling potatoes does not make us better people but understanding a perspective so different than our own does. Thanks to Sean, Daniel expands his world, but it’s a very one-sided perspective, focusing on always praised, hippie-style liberties, and disregarding every option that requires any code of conduct, as represented by the grandparents. While the older brother forces the younger one to keep up with the designed tasks, he never discusses the issues that really matter. In episode 3, the youngster gets involved in a heist, a robbery, but after it fails, costing Sean his eye and the possible death of some of their companions, this is never mentioned. Mexico, a plan that is hardly a plan at all, is supposed to be an answer to all the questions and doubts. El Dorado of knowledge.

This is not how you raise a dog, not to mention a child.

There is no emotional bond, no special ties between the brothers, except a few problematic moments that play mostly on simple connection forged by blood, not by circumstances. Sean worries about Daniel because he’s his brother, but the player starts to wonder quite quickly why and what for. Reminiscing about old times gets nailed down to a few lines about the comforts and amenities of a life long gone. The tough topics, such as grieving after personally witnessing their father’s death, are mentioned scarcely and without much emphasis, as if serving only as a reminder to the player, but not a poignant struggle. Same goes with the dog, their friends mutilated at the end of the weed farm chapter, Chris (aka captain spirit) who is mentioned just before the end credits of the second episode, and tons of others. On top of it, the scattered and not so often dialogue lines about putting people in danger refer only to the good folk, siding with the brothers, not to humankind in general. Killing a police officer or knocking down a gas station owner are just natural ways of how things work in America, honorable deeds since it’s apparently perfectly fine for a kid to attempt a homicide if people are mean.

What a brave story.

Chloe Price had been suffering for five years after William, her beloved father, died in a car crash. For Sean and Daniel, there is no grief to experience, but a memory to share with a plan to erect a monument in the future. Esteban Diaz is a plot device, a symbol of inequality, but not a family member. Even a dream sequence with his guest appearance lacks the impact of the subconscious conversations we’ve seen in Before the Storm. It just simply doesn’t matter.

I can’t believe I have to say this but the relatable part about LIS1 wasn’t the tornado, just like in LIS2 crossing the border is its weakest point, but it’s those small moments, gestures, quick smiles in passing, the atmosphere and a breath of fresh air when a line, sometimes silly, got dropped. In the most recent story, there is not a single line worth quoting, memorizing, or discussing. And please, don’t bring up “awesome possum” again. It’s literally taken from The Lego Movie song.

The brothers, just like Thelma and Louise, decide to leave everything behind, throwing away the life as they knew it and forging their own future despite all odds. Although, when the two desperate women drive off the cliff committing suicide, chased by the armed forces, there is nothing to explain as the audience fully understands their reasoning. Their will of life was strong, but the path they followed was too steep to return. Without any help or support, confronted with brutal honesty and the world’s cruelty around them, it is the best possible solution. The story of the two brothers, even if it tries to echo the iconic movie, couldn’t be more different. Despite resources at their disposal, family members that do care about their wellbeing, the whole community rising in protest in their hometown, they risk everything for the sake of getting back to the land they don’t even know. Their Mexican heritage is also mentioned just as an exposition, and, as we learn in the very last episode, just before the ending that Daniel doesn’t speak Spanish. So why do the stubborn Diaz brothers despite all odds travel to Mexico? Because.

Canada was too close, I guess.

Last but not least, let’s talk about sex, because why the hell not. A lot of fans or admirers of the previous instances howled across all social media about how much they miss Max and Chloe. I don’t really think it’s the case, but those two girls symbolize something that LIS2 has a tremendous problem with. There’s no emotional connection between the characters the brothers meet along the way, especially the ones that really should matter. Even the love interests feel more like nagging choices than anything else, an experiment during a camping trip, not something that would last or could be fantasized about. Instead of nerve-wracking decisions such as if you’re supposed to kiss Rachel, hold her hand, or the ecstatic discovery (for PriceFielders, but it was ecstatic, right?) that Chloe changed her phone’s background, we are instead presented with a lineup of sexual experiences, that maybe trail-blaze the road when it comes to topics tackled by a video game, but fall into obscurity as an emotional construction. There is no build-up between Sean and Finn as everything develops to a kiss in one conversation, and Cassidy has fewer lines than Victoria Chase before she invites Sean to her tent. We watch it as we watched it before, trying to get attached, feel something, but the only thing we remember was how much it touched us years ago when we played a different game but with a similar title. The sex scene, relatable or not, is stripped from the emotional intimacy and is as sensitively challenging as a dog being killed.

Character development doesn’t move an inch even if Sean, a surrogate father to his brother, lost his virginity to an older girl. There’s no single thought in his head that he might conceive his own offspring during this short but probably memorable experience. There’s not a single line except for the satisfaction of some female parts finally discovered. Oh, dashing explorer, will you ever learn?

It’s sad. I did want to like this game and gave it plenty of chances like no other titles ever. I’ve made excuses for the poor execution, technical problems, with the whiny voice acting that was driving me up the wall, plot twists written (I think) on a lunch break, and so on, but I couldn’t stand it. It’s a hard pass when it comes to a video game in general, not to mention the story, script, and everything else. Life is Strange season one; a low-budget production, was the first step to create a masterpiece that LIS2 might’ve been able to become. The second season didn’t learn much from LIS1’s mistakes, additionally exchanging the well-known beauty for a garbage fire, ignoring all the warning signs along the way. Delivering a story that tackles such important topics, it slides between the checkmarks on the board of issues, mentioning conversion therapy, religion, gayness, illegal immigration, and a spiral of crimes but never elaborating on any of them. There is no meat and potatoes presented on the plate of events, but just a sticky, sweet gravy with nothing underneath that leaves you not only hungry but frustrated, willing to call the chef and yell at the waiter. The trick is that unless you were living under a rock, there are tons of other productions in different media that give those themes justice, carefully unfolding all the aspects, giving voice to both sides. The fact that it’s the first video game having an affair with serious issues doesn’t matter. I don’t believe that anybody who consumes any kind of other media like decent books, movies, or TV shows can remain blind to the problems of Life is Strange 2, claiming it to be a good story. It’s not.

So here we are, girls, boys, and beyond. Life is Strange 2 with its broken mechanics, story, characters, and spirit slowly but surely will be forgotten. It’s Dontnod’s Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within that you might love to watch or play on your brand-new TV, despite what everybody else would say, omitting any valid or invalid criticism, but unfortunately, it won’t change the general optics about this particular piece of media. A lost chance or recklessness created a convoluted mess and with a heart beating in the wrong place. You might praise Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, get excited about it since it’s a free world, free country (and even if it’s not, no one will take this ersatz of such liberty) and don’t let anybody tell you what to love. The problem is, that most likely the only thing that people will remember about this production is that the main male character looked like Ben Affleck and the hair animation was dope. Everything else won’t matter.

The same thing goes, unfortunately, for Life is Strange 2, subtitle: The Spirits Without.

#life is strange 2 #review #honest #dontnod #square enix

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